Feburary 14, 1982 Sunday
PAUL: Unless you have some objection, I am going to call you Raj, since it is easier to say than Rajpur, even though I haven’t had much occasion to use it.
Today has been sort of a day of ups and downs. This morning I very clearly felt your presence and there was a lot of jelling of both doubts and questions in my mind. As the afternoon progressed, I felt your presence less and less. Since you said you would be with me constantly, I attributed it to something within me that was unable to be aware of your presence. As a result, up until fifteen or twenty minutes ago the afternoon and evening were a “downer” for me.
Then my son Christopher, called me. He had blown his nose so forcefully that he had made his ear very, very uncomfortable. Where in the past he has been absolutely adamantly unwilling to have me use my hands, tonight he seemed very willing. Within about five minutes his ear was—well, I didn’t get the impression that it was totally comfortable, but it was almost.
I was grateful for this. It seems at this point that I’m afraid of losing what has been developing. Evidently, if I don’t have some continuity of experience—either with the healing work, the cards, or conversations with you—it seems to me that I may be losing what ability has been given to me.
At any rate, it was very timely for Christopher to have this need, because I am not in the frustrated state that I was fifteen minutes ago. I feel as though I’m in a position to be receptive, and to hear you. I have something that I am definitely interested in learning about, and understanding. I will put it out on the table and you may pick it up at any time you feel it’s appropriate.
It is this: I need to understand what “influence” is. I mean influence in the sense of what are called dark forces. I mean it in the sense of whether or not, from a three-dimensional standpoint, one person’s false or negative concept about another person can affect the second person negatively.
In doing the healing work, I have found that it is necessary to see whether a problem stems from a need for clarification and growth within the individual, or whether the problem is an indication of an external influence that truly does not indicate a need for growth.
This has not always been of interest to me, but recently it has seemed more necessary to understand it. Although there has been reluctance, I have begun to understand it somewhat more clearly. At least I have come to the point where I see that it may be something needing to be understood. Okay?
So that’s where I am right now. I would like to understand how it is that there can seem to be this influence, what the influence is, how it seems to operate, and how to protect oneself from it.
That seems like a pretty tall order from where I stand, but since simplicity is the keynote, I am going to assume that the answer is ultimately simple.
So, as I said, I’m putting it on the table. You can pick it up whenever you wish.
RAJ: I have to laugh, Paul. You say “Answer,” and immediately release the button on the microphone as though you certainly don’t expect to have the answer instantly. But I’m not making fun of you.1
I want to begin tonight by bringing out a point about design. We have talked about energy patterns, but it is time for a clarification of that term. You see, a pattern can also be called a design. However, we are going to use the term “design” when referring to pattern by using its second major definition as well, which is “intent,” “purpose,” or “direction.“
Energy patterns are not simply organizations of energy that have a recognizable or definable or describable pattern. Energy patterns are the Universal Substance existing in an organized manner, but it is not static. And so, in adding to the shades of meaning regarding the word, “pattern,” the word “design” becomes essential.
Since all Substance is the Substance of Being, then that Substance, having infinite form, has infinite pattern. That infinite pattern is a design—meaning that this infinite pattern is not static, but embodies and expresses the intent or purpose which it is conveying by being patterned.
All life, whether a rock, a body of a living animal, or a human being, is actively expressing the Universal Life Force. To three-dimensional sight, it may appear to be a static lump of stuff, but from the standpoint of Being, the pattern/design seen as a rock is intent on declaring itself as I Am!
When we speak of energy fields we should not settle for a visual concept of something similar to an electronic circuit—an orderly alignment or static design of energy pattern. Rather, we should understand that energy patterns, energy fields, and energy centers constitute an active intent to be something specific.
When you are doing your healing work and you are aware of energy fields and energy centers—even the excessive energy which departs the individual and collects on your hands—do not think of it as “mindless” energy. Nor should you think of this excess energy as being negative energy in the sense of being anti-Life. Three inches of peanut butter on a slice of bread does not make peanut butter bad. It simply means there’s too much of it on one slice.
The reason for excess energy being present is where the imbalance lies. It does not lie in the energy field, itself. Although you experience it as being sharp and painful, if too much collects on your hands before you remove it, do not take that mode of being conscious of that energy as a indication that it is actually in opposition to health or Life. That is not its intent. Do not treat it distastefully.
Although you may not be able to relate this meaningfully to your experience at the moment, be willing to consider it. Contemplate it. Mull it over. You will find things clicking into place.
Paul, I think it is a wise idea for you to attempt to have these conversations primarily in the morning as opposed to late in the evening, simply because you are fresher. It does not really limit us—the time of day—but it strikes me as being a good idea.
[Very long pause]
PAUL: Are you there?
RAJ: I am here, Paul.
PAUL: Are you there?
RAJ: Yes, I am. By the way, it is perfectly all right for you to call me Raj.
PAUL: Thank you.
RAJ: I know it seems difficult when you have a lot of work to do, to stay in that place where you are conscious of yourself as being Conscious Being. I say “seems” for a reason. You know from your experience the other day that it really was not difficult to “be the driving of the car.” It was not laborious. In fact, it was exactly the opposite.
You let yourself slip out of it this afternoon and this evening, but it was not because you were busy. You were busy driving the car the other day. You were even busy after you got home, and it was not difficult to be out from Mind.
Although you slipped out and weren’t able to get back until just a short while ago, you at least were conscious of the fact that you had slipped, and you did not simply blow in the direction of your old patterns. To be conscious of the slips indicates a greater degree of Wakefulness on your part. It indicates a coming out of the three-dimensional frame of reference, wherein awareness of Self is minimal.
I want you to observe, Paul, that you have a behavior pattern which has impatience as its main element. This impatience has an element of stubbornness in it. This element of stubbornness amounts to a harshness or cruelty which you impose on yourself, because when you can’t achieve the thing which you are impatient for, you then begin to criticize yourself and run yourself down. This stems from the three-dimensional viewpoint wherein we see ourselves as growing, attaining, or becoming something more than we already are. So we go about getting it, becoming it, and making ourselves grow—and we stumble, and fumble, and fall, and frustrate ourselves, and then try even harder.
Paul, this afternoon when things began going roughly for you, you did not recognize that you needed to withdraw from your objective view and get into your Subjective Being of what was happening. You knew it, but you didn’t do it. You became frustrated, and then you began to put yourself down and you depressed and concerned yourself.
Paul, as I have said before, “All of you is always present.” But, the only way for you to find that all of You is One is to get into the One that is You that constitutes the All. You really do know this now, and from my position I can see that you are very close to breaking through this habit/process by which you have kept yourself beaten down for a long time.
Take today with a light step, and cheer up. Move on, and figure that you had a good object lesson in it. Next time you have an object lesson, turn it into a subject lesson.
I was with you today, but you were listening to yourself more than anything else, and when that’s the case I can talk until I’m blue in the face and it won’t do a bit of good. But, I was there and will continue to be with you as I indicated yesterday.
Another thing, Paul, this incessant requesting on your part for proof of my existence—like appearing bodily before you, making objects move, et cetera—this is all a game, Paul. It is an excuse for not doing what needs to be done.
If I provided you with any of the proofs that you feel would substantiate my existence, any one of a number of things could take place. But, in all likelihood, the one essential thing would remain undone. That one essential thing is “Trust Your Self.” If you had any more proof than you already have of my existence (which many people would feel was more than substantial enough) you would very likely become as good a “student” of mine as you are capable of becoming. You would disown that part of yourself that you see as me, since I am a part of the Many that constitutes the One that is You. And it would postpone your discovery and experience of the Oneness, and therefore the Allness, of Your Being.
I am not here to guide you to the point where you can sit at my feet. I am here to guide you to the point where you Know, without a shadow of a doubt, that you don’t have to sit at anybody’s feet.
You need to take a good look at the very thing that is going on at this moment. You have gone within Yourself to that point of your Being which is experienced as your awareness of your Infinitude as You. You are finding that you have, as of last night, 57 pages of Wisdom and Truth that exceeds your ability to credit yourself with.
Now, in spite of the fact that I am an individuality in my own right, I will say that it doesn’t matter whether you see me as your alter-ego, the right side of your brain, your spirit, or even a schizophrenic attempt at maintaining your sanity after three years or more of hard work that hasn’t paid off. The fact is that you are proving that when you go within Yourself to that point where you are being as Conscious Being, All of You is there and available to you. If you can’t see that, then it wouldn’t matter what objective proofs I gave you—the game would continue.
Whether you accept it nor not, whether you acknowledge it or not, the unfolding and integrating of your being is occurring. The demand is for you to get with it!
Quit trying to manipulate me. You are wasting your time.
To the degree that you desire to manipulate me in order to satisfy your requirements (which in the long run won’t satisfy your requirements at all, because you’ll simply have more), to that degree you are not expressing willingness—you are not coming to our conversation with a willing heart. It does not express the qualities of trust and faith.
I do not want a follower, nor do I need one. I am here to guide you, yes, but not to guide in the proper way to copy me, nor to walk in my footsteps. I am here to guide you into fuller experience of Your Self as the One that constitutes the Many, as the One “besides whom there is none else.” I will constantly throw you back on your Self. And, believe me, you cannot fool me into doing otherwise.
This is your quantum leap. But the leap is not as great as you think, nor as far away as you think. You might as well stop postponing it with your games.
You know that I say all of this with Love—but do not believe for a minute that Love is dumb!
Think about it and we’ll talk tomorrow.
Instead of saying “Paul” and “Raj” into the Dictaphone, I was saying “question” and “answer.” Thus, his reference to the word “answer.“ ↩︎