January 18, 1991 Friday
Paul: I just want to say that I am feeling really scattered today, at this point—very, very unsure about what is going on, and what is important and what isn’t. There seems to be chaos and absolute lack of order and focus. Anything and everything seems to be what needs to be attended to. Anyway, that’s where I am.
Is it true that you have something to say?
Raj: Yes, Paul, it is true.
Raj: What I have to say is still relative to Graduation.
Paul: The impression I got when you said that was, it is still more relevant than anything else at the moment that seems worthy of my attention or focus. Was that intended, or am I jumping to conclusions?
Raj: Indeed, that is absolutely correct, Paul. You must begin to see it from my point of view. If you have been dreaming dreams, totally engrossed in them, to the exclusion of your Conscious awareness of Where and Who you truly Are, and now you are…h-m-mm, yes…lucid enough to recognize my presence and the fact that you must be present with me where I am to be experiencing me, then there is only one focus possible. That is, as you put it, pulling you through the knothole that seems to be between you and your awareness of Who and Where you Are, and me, without any distortion in your experience of me.
The nature, character, dynamics and drama of your dreams literally have no importance, because they are part and parcel of your ignorance, not your Consciousness—not your lucid all-inclusive Conscious experience of Being. And so, when you say, “Oh, a monster is chasing me. I need to go and run,” I cannot tell you that it is more important than your continuing connection with me, which is your continuing connection with Reality, your continuing connection with your Self in your right Mind, in which there is no monster and no need to run.
As I have already said, do not try to determine what is real and what is illusion at the level of dream. You must understand that it is your willingness to pay attention to me, to my presence outside of the dream—and therefore your presence outside of the dream—which is the only thing that will bring you to a point of being able to distinguish what is Real. And, of course, there will not be anything remaining appearing to be unreal, so no distinction between the two will have to be made. We are talking about clarity, here, in which there is no confusion, no distorted perception.
Now, you have realized that you forgot to check in with me even more frequently after our last conversation. You, nevertheless, did check in with me, and did, to a limited degree, provide yourself with the remindful experience of where we Are—which really means, for you, where You Are truly.
Indeed, the drama of the dream has been a little more dynamic in the past few days. But what is unreal about it is no more unreal than it was when it was less dynamic, and therefore does not truly require your attention any more than when the dream seemed to be peaceful. So, I am going to reiterate again the need for touching base with me more and more frequently. This is the way you build a basis of experience as to where you really Are, and therefore, this is the way in which you become clearer that you are not in the dream, and you are not the caricature of self that you are experiencing within the dream, but are the Self that is with me in the Fourth-dimensional Conscious experience of Being.
Again, I ask you: Will you do this?
Paul: Yes, to the very best of my ability.
Raj: Again, Paul, there is a need for desire to be present—a desire for a friend. A desire to be with me consciously. And again, at this point, any experience of not being with me is not a valid or valuable experience. Therefore a choice for being unaware of me is a choice which imprisons you in unconsciousness, ignorance. Your great familiarity with your ignorance, and your great unfamiliarity with being with me does not justify the ongoing choice for being unconscious of me, and therefore unconscious of You.
If it seems that the protocols of your dream are dissolving—being rendered meaningless—and as a result there is what you perceive and judge to be chaos, then you may know that the elements of its attraction—meaning the ignorance or the dream—are losing their ability to hold your attention, and thus, you not only have a “window of escape,” you also feel a need. This is in perfect order and is indicative of healing, of your coming back into your right Mind—your undistorted, unbiased, unconditional, unconditioned Conscious experience of Being.
So, when you feel the need for order, when the conceptual orderlinesses of your experience are dissolving, know that order will be achieved—not by virtue of reestablishing the order in the dream, but—by virtue of connecting with me, thus bringing your point of attention to that Place where You Are, truly, and that Place only where your capacity to experience truly is present and available, in which the absence of order and its potential threat to your sense of your well being gets swallowed up in unchangeable, absolute Order or Harmony, where there is no experience of threat or potential for threat. I will repeat this as many times as I have to.
In your connecting with me—and now, by virtue of connecting with me and having an experience of the fact that you must be with me where I am in order to do so—this is the essential step in terms of your release from the dream, the personal sense of self and the distorted perception of Reality which is inseparable from it.
Paul: I realize I am now trying to understand. So, do you have more to say?
Raj: Yes, Paul. I do.
Now, it is important for you to notice how you are willing to pull your attention back from me into an allegiance to what I will call “the events of your day.” I mean by that, the events of the three-dimensional day—or even more accurately, the three-dimensional perception of the eternal Now that is called Day.
You are bringing into play a level of concern and obligation as though somehow, even though your allegiance to the protocols of your day will involve my speaking to someone, that it is appropriate to become un-Self-conscious of your self as being with me. In other words, the withdrawal suggests a return to the three-dimensional frame of reference and then listening from there. And we are not going to do that any more.
If you are listening to me, you are going to be listening to me from Here. And what I mean by that is: You are going to be listening to me while embracing the conscious experience of being Here with me, where I am Fourth-dimensionally.
As you can see, you are not going to be able to reason this thing out.
Paul: Am I going to keep this appointment with Phyllis?
Raj: Not if you want to stay in touch with me.
Paul: You are saying, then, that we will continue talking and the connection will appear to be you and me talking, not you and Phyllis talking and having an appointment?
Raj: That is correct, Paul, unless you refuse to speak with me, I am going to continue to speak to you and bring your awareness more significantly into your clear experience of what is Really going on.
Paul: All right.
[Just cancelled appointment.]
Paul: This certainly is increasing my anxiety level, when there is lack and then I am canceling appointments.
Raj: Paul, this anxiety is inherent in the level which you are choosing to invest energy. At this moment you are hearing me, but you are not experiencing the fact that you are with me. You are listening from within the framework of personal bias, the tiny sense of self, the three-dimensional-only frame of reference. Again, you must understand that this is not where Cause lies. This is not where movement originates. This is not where anything is done. This is not where Being is being. It is just the visibility and tangibility of Being-—visibility and tangibility only! You could say the three-dimensional-only frame of reference is the visibility-and-tangibility-only frame of reference. What it is the visibility and tangibility of exists only Fourth-dimensionally.
Paul: All right.
Raj: Good. You are back.
Paul: But I feel like I’m blind, and ignoring what I am able to see. 1
Raj: Yes. But, you are not deaf, are you? You are Hearing me. And I will say, your ears are Here with me, or your ears are functioning—and I am being symbolic. If Hearing is the one faculty which is not being blocked, then by all means, Paul, give your attention to it! It is the means by which the rest of you may be, I am going to say, re-enlivened, re-invigorated. That is why listening to me is so imperative. It involves that part of You which you are allowing to be lucid.
Paul: It is amazing, because it seems that I am doing nothing in the face of much to do.
Raj: Yes, Paul. But the “much to do,” you would do ignorantly, and that is not an accomplishment.
Do not worry, the dream will not bite you nor destroy you. And your not giving your full attention to it will not put you in jeopardy, even though your strong belief is that it will.
You must understand that what is happening here in our connection partakes in no way of belief, and that is a very important point. When we are connected, you are not standing back, separate and apart, observing, analyzing, and grasping intellectually what is happening. Therefore, there can be no belief associated with it. You see, what you have in the past wanted was a break to get back to the familiarity of belief—of your beliefs, of your protocols, your so-called orderly structures of dreaming. You have wanted relief from unfamiliarity, relief from having to pay attention, relief from being vital.
When one is in a hospital and unconscious, vital signs—signs of vitality—are monitored. Respiration. Heartbeat. Brain activity, et cetera. The divine faculties of Conscious Being, which you could call Hearing, Seeing, Tasting, Smelling, et cetera, the direct comprehending of Reality, could be called the vital signs. And right now the one vital sign that is functioning is Hearing. And it is a result of Listening. And that will give you a clue, because if you want to see, then you must look! And how do you look? Well, you want to see. You don’t want to see something in particular, because you don’t know what there is to see. But you want to see. And the “wanting” is the “looking.” And the seeing is what comes, just as Listening brings forth Hearing.
You must stop valuing the inputs which bolster the ego and satisfy it. I mean by that, the actions that get approval. You must at this point value the marvelous fact that you are, at this instant, connecting with me from That of you which is Fourth-dimensional. It is a concrete demonstration of your Sanity—your presence of Mind—and therefore an illuminated experience of your Being, with no distortion present.
I realize that it doesn’t seem as significant as the fantastic imagery of the imagination which you have come to believe is reality, and which it now seems to you that you are ignoring and therefore separating yourself from. But as has been said, “the way is straight and narrow, and few there by that go in thereat.” 2 And this is because it feels like the loss of immense, all-inclusive, total, images, concepts and belief structures called reality, but which necessarily has a small “r.”
Again, Paul, you cannot know ahead of time what this means, and so you are going to have to trust as you take my hand by joining with me Here at Home.
Paul: This is not fun.
Raj: It all depends on where you’re standing as you’re observing it. Because I will tell you, again, that from my vantage point this is cause for great Joy and great Joy is being experienced by those of us standing in attendance, you might say, as you reach out and desire to embrace, and thus express Mind, thus express your natural inherent Sanity.
It is not pleasant to sacrifice your illusions. And again, this is why it is imperative for you to connect with me frequently, if not absolutely constantly, so as to have the opportunity to stand in the presence of your Sanity, your unflawed experience of what is Really going on, because you will be able to catch the feel of Joy which will further illuminate You to you as Who You truly Are, and thus promote greater willingness to release, without reason or thought, the fantasy you.
Paul: There is joy here?
Raj: And laughter, too, at your very question. Indeed, yes. The laughter is Joy because your question constituted a further opening.
Paul: Are there many Here, or is that pertinent?
Raj: There are ten or twelve of us at this time—shall I say, “as we speak.”
Paul: Is this “Here” occupying the same space I would describe as “here” three-dimensionally?
Raj: No, Paul, because this “here,” as you put it, three-dimensionally, isn’t present in space, either, but in the conscious experience of being conscious. In that sense, the answer is yes, because the Place is Awareness, not the sense of space that form seems to suggest—and when I say “form,” I mean visibility and tangibility. The conscious experience of an idea.
All of us are eager to discern increasing curiosity in you, because the presence of curiosity about where you Really Are is the vitalizing factor which opens the Door, so to speak—dissolves the conceptual blocks of perception and allows Knowing to occur “once again.” We are not happy when you slip away in concern for the sense of space and time, and of self located in it, because, in effect, we lose you for a time. I will say it this way: We lose the opportunity to experience You—and, as I have said before, to some extent the experience of Us, because you are inseparable.
You see, just as each one must find his or her own reason for living, you must find your own reason for being Conscious. And you will never find the reason for being Conscious within the ignorance, within the dream. Therefore, the reason for being Conscious will never be reasonable! At least not from within the limited definitions of reason which are employed within the dream.
So, you must arrive at a conviction, and a willingness to commit to that conviction, which allows you to abandon reason for the apparently unreasonable. It is because what we are doing at this moment, you and I, does not compute with your preexisting conditioning that it seems unreasonable and impractical, and will seem so if you do not stay in touch with the unjustifiable claim that I am making—that you and I are together, actively and consciously together, to the degree that you are Hearing me, in the Fourth dimension, in the Kingdom of Heaven, in the middle of Reality, and that it is only by means of this connection and your embrace of the ability to conceive of your being Here with me that you can break through your “amnesia.”
Paul: Do you have more to say?
Raj: Not at this time. I want you to try to stay connected with me constantly.
what I have perceived reality to be since I was born.
unto life, and few there be that find it.”