January 14, 1991 Monday
Paul: I don’t even know what needs to be addressed.
Raj: Paul, we have been addressing what needs to be addressed. The events of daily life will continue, but will not become the focal points to be addressed. The key here is Listening—and this does not mean letting down and resorting to instinct, memory, or personality patterns where you unthinkingly respond to the so-called stimulus of life. Listening is unthinking, but not un-Self-conscious, and actions arise out of Knowing—not inaction or reaction. Being is not responsive!
When you begin a Workshop, you have the conscious intent to draw exclusively from within, to not place your attention outside yourself. No attempts are made to control the environment, or the order of events or the nature of the questions. Everything is grist for the mill. You are the one who takes breaks periodically for “relief” from that mode of being.
I will tell you something: We are pushing through this supposed need for “relief.” Indeed, the timing of the breaks 1 has occurred because they are in order, but your shift of attention to “Paul, the Channeler” and “externals” is not.
Now, I will tell you something else: I am not pushing you. I am reflecting the demand of your Being for congruence! I am doing this so that you might know what the pressure is, and not misunderstand the need. This is not a learning that you can choose to learn whenever you feel like it. You are bigger and you must embrace it.
You see, as long as you think “Bumbling Paul,” the sidekick, is the real you, your divine Self-hood will seem to be your sidekick, the fantasy partner, the intangible, insubstantial essence—the ethereal you. This displacement is being healed, requiring you to invest yourself in the “unreal” 2 and abandon the “real.” 3 That is how you let go of the ego. This is how you become Sane.
You see, I am not riding around in your hip pocket. The “you” that thinks I am is riding around in the hip pocket of You. And You and I are brothers. You hear me instead of your Self because your sidekick cannot acknowledge You. Indeed, this is an Awakening, or healing of mental illness—confused identity—and will affect and consume every perception of your existence. One is never selectively insane. Misperception colors all of one’s experience.
I will tell you something else: You have friends to meet and greet you when you come out of this misperception of self whom you will enjoy re-recognizing. To hell with those who are still dreaming! You don’t have the perspective to know whether they are really asleep or not, and would you stay in your dream to save them from their dream if you knew they weren’t really asleep? You cannot afford to govern yourself according to your current perceptions. Maybe the lack is the crumbling of something illusory that doesn’t need to be reestablished. You will not know until you choose for Me/You.
Would you not be in your right Mind? Would you not choose to move beyond even the happy dream? The happy dream is a stepping-stone, not a place to settle into. The happy dream is insubstantial—dreamlike because it still isn’t Reality. But, it does promote the dissolving of denser illusion which seems so real. And, as I said, the stepping-stone begins to crumble, and you must make the final leap across the little gap that is no gap at all.
The issue here is not money or schedule or any other obligation to the human condition. The issue is Listening permanently—committing to me rather than your fantasy sidekick, your imaginary self. In this act, you must necessarily come into the full conscious awareness as my brother—the real You that You Are.