Sep 25, 2010
Good evening. And welcome to everyone who’s joining us on the Internet.
As you can see on the screen, it says, “The Movement Continues.” This is with reference to the change of location that is occurring from the place where the Foundation has operated, where Paul and Susan live, where they conduct the activities, to a new place about two and a half miles away.
We’ve used this phrase, “The Movement Continues” since the beginning. Let me say right now that this is me, Paul, speaking … and not Raj. I want to be clear about that.
It says The Movement Continues, and yet the fact is that it is moving very, very slowly. It seems that at every step, that resistance is met. Not resistance in us, but this, that or the other thing that comes up that holds things up.
Now dealing with these things—employing the two-step to deal with them—what shall I say … has been very helpful. But because of the persistence of these resistances, it has become laborious, it has become difficult. The tendency for me is to want to become reactive, to become demanding, to take control. And yet, that’s not the way the two-step works, because the two-step is the process of saying, “Thy Will be done” and then listening for what that is.
Now, the reason I’m talking tonight is because first of all, I’m very tired. The process the last few weeks has been very strenuous. Maybe some of you have found that practicing the two-step is not entirely rejuvenating [chuckle] if persistence is required—persistence that pushes you beyond what you think your capacity is.
And so, I have found that practicing the two-step isn’t always fun. It’s always worthwhile, but I haven’t found it to be fun all the time.
I’ve asked Raj, why are we running into these resistances? Why are we running into personality issues—ego issues? And he said, “It’s very simple. It’s the “crab-barrel theory” demonstrated. Those who see unjustifiable good happening, those seeing movement occur that is more expansive than they can embrace for themselves, tend to put a damper on unreasonable good when it’s happening to someone else.”
Well, that’s a nice answer (me, Paul speaking). It explains it, but it doesn’t make it easier. It still boils down to my having to practice the two-step and do my best to get into the holy instant, where I understand God’s laws prevail.
So, progress has been slow. As it happens, financial support has been equally slow. This has made it stressful for me. And this morning when I was sleeping restlessly—meaning not really sleeping and experiencing disturbance—I realized that I was anticipating tonight with some dread because I obviously wouldn’t be able to come up on the evening and the Gathering here full of inspiration, even though I’m full of dedication and even though I’m full of persistence. And of course my being exhausted didn’t help and hasn’t helped either.
But you know what? I realized that if I didn’t try to be something I’m not, I could relax. If I allowed myself to be here this evening and not try to be something I’m not, or not act from a place that I’m not, I could relax. And part of what I realized was that I can’t do what I can’t do. Susan, my wife and I, can’t do what we can’t do. And so I don’t have to try to pretend that I can. And I can say, “Hey, I can’t do what I can’t do.”
I don’t have the means—the personal financial means—to follow through on this move that Raj has set into motion. Susan and I are not in a position to pack up the house, load it into trailers, move it to the new house, carry it up the stairs and unpack. Somebody else is going to have to do it. We’re going to have to pay someone to do it with money that we don’t have yet.
My ego can take that and run with it and create stress for me. And it has, because I was keeping it all to myself. I was carrying it inside, saying, “Well I can’t share that I’m incapable of things.” But I can and I am.
You know, most of you know that when it has come time to request financial help for whatever the activities are that we’re engaged in, I have always been uncomfortable. But tonight I’m not. Tonight I can say, “We need help! Where there’s no way we … Susan and I or Chris and Judy can pull this off, bring the move about, get all the work done in the house that needs to be done so that we can move in. We need help! We need help from people to do the labor, to do the construction, to prepare the place and we need help from people to pay them to do it. We simply can’t do it ourself.”
But you know what? We can and do have the dedication. And we can and do have the persistence. And we can and will continue to do the two-step and to listen and to share what Raj has to say. That hasn’t changed in twenty-eight years and it’s not going to change now. But in order to do that easily, in light of the fact that we’re moving house, we need help. And the help that’s needed is substantial. I’m sorry that Raj set up—I’m not really sorry—but I’m sorry that Raj set up a task that seems to be expensive. But he did.
We have a fence that will be built in about three weeks and within a week or two after that the bill will come for eight thousand dollars. That’s a sizeable amount of money. But the fence needs to be built. We have materials that we have bought in the last three weeks that amount to about eight thousand dollars and they will come due around the ninth of the month.
At the end of October we now have two properties to pay property tax on that will come to about six thousand dollars.
We will need to hire people to move us. I have no idea what that will cost. But it’s an appropriate expense, because we need to move and we need to be settled so that the work that we’re persistent in and dedicated to, can continue with ease for everyone’s benefit including our own.
And so, I’m experiencing no shame whatsoever in saying, we need your help.
Now, whether your help is a dollar bill or a ten dollar bill or a hundred dollar bill or a thousand dollar bill, makes no difference. Every bit helps! And you know that when I receive notification of a contribution having been made, I am so grateful and I express gratitude to the one who made it. Every check that is received in the mail that is opened, gratitude is expressed. It’s never simply put in a pouch and deposited without another thought. The meaning of the gift is acknowledged and not minimized in any way.
Now, there are two other things that Raj has said are part and parcel of the move into this new house (the purchase and the preparation of it). And that is: A generator that will automatically go on when the power goes off, and an elevator which the house is fitted for already.
You know, personally I have a hard time justifying that. I’m aware that there are people who are unemployed, people who have lost their jobs and are struggling and could well say, “You know, I need food on my table. What do they need an elevator for? That is so irrelevant. Let the people climb the stairs.”
But you want to know something? If you’re going to do the two-step, if you’re going to listen for Guidance and you receive Guidance, I found it’s not well to second-guess it or to deny it or to discount it. Raj has more than once made it clear that a functioning elevator in that house is part of the wholeness of it.
And so that means that there is some learning about the meaning of listening for Guidance. Not learning about the meaning of an elevator or why one has an elevator. But learning about the process of asking for Guidance, receiving it and then not undermining it, but embracing it whole-heartedly with commitment so that the full learning about it might be experienced—the full learning about listening.
And so I’m committed to what Raj has said. I have no idea how it will be paid for, because I have no capacity personally at this moment to pay for it. And somewhere in the scheme of things it must fit in, even though there are families who need food on their table, or a table to put their food on.
So, as I said, no matter how much or little the contributions are, they are meaningful. They truly are. And they make a difference.
Tonight before we began, I asked Raj if he wanted to say anything. And he said, “No, I want you to put into your own words what you’re feeling.” And so that is what I have done. And right now he’s indicating that he doesn’t wish to add anything to it.
Susan and I, and Chris and Judy are ready to move forward and continue the work in the new location with joy and without stress and without exhaustion. That is our pleasure. And I gladly invite everyone’s support for our doing that.
I truly thank you for listening. Usually at the end Raj says, “I love you all.” I love you all.
I was almost inclined to say, “I’m too tired to have a meeting tonight, I’m too exhausted, I’m too stressed, etc.” But you know what? Some of you may not feel that you have a relationship with me because we’ve never met. Many of you whom I have never met, I have the pleasure of feeling that I have a relationship with you, because you’ve posted at The Gathering Place, or I have seen a check or a contribution come through from you and I recognize your name and you’ve become like an old friend, even though I have yet to meet you. And after not having a meeting last week—at Raj’s direction—I felt that I had to honor you enough to speak to you, to connect with you tonight. And I’m glad I did.
And I do love every one of you. Next week I know we all look forward to listening to Raj.