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Good evening. And welcome to everyone who’s joining us on the Internet.
Well last week we covered five lines. And some of you may be feeling some impatience … “How will we ever get done with the Book if he takes so long?”
But I want to remind everyone that getting to the end of the Book doesn’t mean you’ll Wake up. But getting it—getting the point—at any moment along the way, will.
I’m taking time, you might say, I’m valuing the subject matter enough not to gloss over it, but to help bring out the deeper meanings. Why? So that you might get it tonight … so that you might’ve gotten it last week. You see?
How many of you have read a book that was so engaging and so interesting that you read it in one sitting or perhaps just in two days and enjoyed it thoroughly because it was so fantastic? And a month later you couldn’t remember very many of the details of what the story was about—just highlights.
That’s not learning. That’s not really valuable because it hasn’t become yours.
So, you don’t want to be goal-oriented. You want to be Presence-oriented. So tonight, be with me. Be with me tonight. Be present with me while I’m being present with you. And let that be good enough because in the intimacy of our being together, you might get it. And then, finishing the Book will be irrelevant.
Now, we were talking about freedom last week. And before we move on, I want to ask a question: What is a special relationship? We’ve been talking about it for a long time. And in many ways, I have described it. But tonight, I’m asking again: “What is a special relationship?”
Well, you think a relationship is something between you and another person. You think you and another person have a relationship. And if you’ve been listening to what I’ve been saying the last few weeks, if God fits nowhere into the picture of this relationship you have with another person, it’s a special relationship. If you are not experiencing your identity as the Son or Daughter of God while you are in relationship, then you are in a special relationship and you could think that means you’re having a relationship with another person and leaving God out of it … that a special relationship is constituted of two or more persons relating to each other without being plugged into their Father. Simple.
But it’s not true.
What is a special relationship? A special relationship is constituted of … and listen carefully … a special relationship is constituted of mutual agreements—a structure of mutual agreements. You could say, like a code of ethics, or the laws of the land. They are ideas. They’re intellectual concepts which two or more have given meaning to and have agreed have meaning.
But it’s this structure of ideas, this structure of ethics, this structure of logic, this structure of concepts that is what constitutes a special relationship.
Individualities or persons cannot have special relationships. And what goes on between persons is not what the words, “special relationships” refer to.
You say, “Well, of course it does. I understand that if I have a special relationship or if I’m in a special relationship, I am behaving in a way that arises out of my need to be special, my need to be acknowledged—recognized—because I don’t feel my integrity because I’m not plugged into my Source, I’m not acknowledging my relationship with my Father. And so I understand that whether I’m doing nice things or mean things, it is something that’s going on between me and another person. And you know, if that person touches me in a certain way, it’s wonderful and if that person touches me in another way, it’s harmful—it’s hurtful. If this person looks at me “that way” or another person shrugs his shoulders in a certain way …”
These are all ways of demonstrating a relationship between persons.
But I want you to … I want you … Oh-h, I want you to be willing to be honest and take a look. Because the simple fact is, that how a person touches you doesn’t constitute an act of a special relationship because you are giving all the meaning to that touch that it has. That touch and how you’re experiencing it is governed by some mutual agreements, either in your culture or in your relationship with that person. You have a mutual agreement and when that look is given, it has that meaning.
And so you say, “Well, he looked at me that way—he looked at me meanly. It was meant to make me feel bad.”
Well, that makes it look like a person relating with a person is having an effect. But it’s not.
The meanings you have given to those looks are constituted of mutually agreed upon definitions. And those definitions are causing you to experience certain perceptions. When the look, the shrug of the shoulder, the tone in the voice in itself had no meaning whatsoever and could, by virtue of mutual agreements, mean something entirely different.
If the practice of mutual agreements, not behaviors between persons, but the practice of mutual agreements constitutes a special relationship, then what constitutes the dissolving of a special relationship?
Well, it’s simple. And I told it to Susan the other day. Waking up or breaking the special relationship is accomplished by standing right in the middle of mutual agreements and disagreeing.
You usually think of the word, “disagreement” as being disagreeable and bad—negative. But a disagreement is the way you break an agreement. You see?
Waking up is going to be a little bit more involved than you might have thought because you’re going to have to be willing to do the two-step. You’re going to have to be willing to practice the holy instant and say, “Father or Holy Spirit, what is the truth here?” And listen for it and then be from that clarity. And when you’re being from that reconnection with your Source, what you are involved in is not a special relationship because your behavior is not arising out of mutual agreements and in fact will constitute a disagreement which has the ultimate effect of breaking a mutual agreement and therefore, a special relationship.
This is important to understand. Special relationships are constituted of structures of mutual agreements.
Write that down: Special relationships are constituted of structures of mutual agreements.
Waking up will be disagreeing with those mutual agreements—breaking the mutual agreements—breaking them not for the purpose of substituting them with a new mutual agreement, but by bringing into play the clarity that comes from one’s connection to his or her Source, one’s remembrance of his or her divinity and the willingness to be from there which does constitute being in disagreement with the mutual agreements that are in practice, in play.
Now, let’s go into the Book here. Last week we ended with this sentence:
There is a way in which the Holy Spirit asks your help, if you would have His.1
Now we’re talking about accessing one’s freedom again—breaking the bondage. And if you want the Holy Spirit’s help, the Holy Spirit asks for your help.
There is a way in which the Holy Spirit asks your help, if you would have His. The holy instant is His most helpful tool in protecting you from the attraction of guilt, the real lure in the special relationship.
Now, if any relationship you’re in is occurring without your conscious experience of your divinity, of your connection with your Father, then no matter whether it’s a pleasant experience or an unpleasant experience, it is a special relationship and constitutes bondage that you need freedom from—that you need release from. And as we also talked about last week, if you want release, you must release others whom you keep in bondage. And the Holy Spirit helps you but asks something of you: The two-step, the holy instant.
The holy instant is His most helpful tool in protecting you from the attraction of guilt, the real lure in the special relationship. You do not recognize that this IS its real appeal, for the ego has taught you that FREEDOM lies in it.
See? The very thing we’re talking about your experiencing: Freedom. But what is freedom? Freedom is Love. Love is the absence of special relationships. Love is the absence of exclusivity. Love is embrace—wholeness. You see?
Now that means that whether you’re having a happy day, a pleasant day, a pleasant time with others or not, guilt is in play. And when we talk about guilt, when this is brought up, it doesn’t make you feel happy or comfortable. You would rather that we hurried on through the Book and gotten past this so we could get to something inspiring … right?
But do not be afraid to look. It’s important to see how guilt works. You see, the means by which you enforce… the means by which everyone enforces mutual agreements, is by employing the threat of guilt and the consequence of guilt if one violates the mutual agreements.
Guilt is the means by which the enforcement of the imagined good that is to come from a special relationship is effected. You see?
Now, you know, if you’re being honest with yourselves, that there are times when you do employ guilt to manipulate others to get them to do what you need them to do so you’ll be comfortable and you know there are times that others employ guilt to control you. But you know we’re talking about freedom, aren’t we. And when you pulled the plug, so to speak, when the Light that you Are pulled the plug from the Socket and you lost your Light …
(I’m sorry, this is me, Paul, I lost it there … just a moment …)
… you began to use the mutual agreements as a way of creating a sense of comfort and a sense of worth in yourself and in others. And so guilt became the means by which you secured your comfort or your recognition as being a worthwhile presence. Guilt is always in play. You use it on others—others use it on you. Most of the time, it’s direct. You exert it over another for an effect.
But when you lost your connection with your Father, you lost your feeling of wholeness—you lost your feeling of competence. And that’s why you use guilt and special relationships to compensate for it.
Now, there’s a way that you use guilt when you feel overwhelmed that doesn’t feel to you as though it’s the employment of guilt: When you’re feeling overwhelmed and incompetent, you are feeling as though you are in a position of powerlessness in which you cannot accomplish that which needs to be accomplished, that which is worthwhile, that which is helpful, that which solves a problem, and you feel overwhelmed by the situation and your powerlessness in the face of it. And then in the absence of the freedom that you so dearly need to feel, someone you’re in relationship with says something to you and you twist what that person has said so that even if they were listening to Guidance, even if they were joined with the Father or the Holy Spirit, you will hear what they’re saying as convicting you of your guilt.
And so you get angry at them and you try to side-track them from the truth that they may be saying by engaging them in defending themselves against your projection upon them of an act that is intended to make you feel guilty.
Now, this is really isn’t as complicated as it might sound. You are feeling overwhelmed, you are feeling incompetent, and you are feeling guilty because you’re not being able to do what you should be able to do, you’re not being able to behave in a way that makes you feel good about yourself.
Now, if someone is trying to help you move out of that space and is pointing out to you that you are not accomplishing what needs to be accomplished, but that it’s because you’re not joining with the Holy Spirit … in other words, if this partner or this other one in your relationship is helping you to look at the very thing we’re doing tonight, the meaning of guilt, rather than glossing it over, you use that as an opportunity to get upset with that person and sidetrack the issue, sidetrack the Guidance, sidetrack the positive direction that’s being given, so that just as those of you would like to get to the end of the Book and not deal with this, you, in this relationship with your partner, can avoid having to look at what you need to look at. So you suggest that that one is being mean-spirited and trying to inflict guilt upon you and make you feel bad.
And why are you doing it? So that you can get to the experience of freedom which means, so that you can side-track the issue from looking at what needs to be looked at and correcting it, and going off on a tangent—a tangent that has to do with proving to this other one that they are being unloving and trying to lay guilt upon you.
That is not too complex to understand.
The intent to use guilt to gain freedom can be done directly or indirectly—and is. Now you must be very careful when you are feeling overwhelmed that you not use every opportunity that comes up to point the finger at others and say they are making you feel guilty, because you will do it to engage them in a fight that will distract you from looking at the very thing that may cause an [snaps fingers] “A-ha!” and bring clarity into your mind and free you.
Always you use guilt for the purpose of gaining freedom from guilt you are convicting yourself of, because you are feeling incompetent and unable to do what needs to be done in order to bring you into the experience that would equal knowing that you’re the Son or Daughter of God with the full conscious experience of it. That’s what all of you are after. You’re after the original experience of You as the Son or Daughter of God. But you’re trying to do it without connecting with your Father.
Simply put: The use of guilt always feels like the simplest way to get freedom from distress, to get freedom from the guilt trip you’re laying upon yourself by distracting you from it and getting into a fight with the one you’re in relationship with. Stop it! Notice it!
You do not recognize that this …
… guilt …
… IS its real appeal…
… the real appeal of the special relationship is guilt …
… for the ego has taught you that FREEDOM lies in it.
Freedom from what? Freedom from looking at what you have to look at. Freedom from acknowledging where you’re goofing up. Freedom from acknowledging that in this particular moment in your experience of incompetence and fear and guilt, you’re called upon to do what actually changes things: Remember your Father … and say, “Father, what’s the truth here? Father, I want to hear Your Voice. Father, I want Your Perspective. I want to do the one thing that will undo the special relationship that is binding me.” And the one thing that will do that is you joining with the Father before you join in relationship with your fellowman. Because when you do that, as I said, you will join with your fellowman minus the structures of mutual agreements that you’ve been using against each other and which have constituted the absence of Love and therefore, have constituted the absence of Freedom.
You do not recognize that this IS its real appeal, for the ego has taught you that FREEDOM lies in it. Yet the closer you look at the special relationship, the more apparent it becomes that it MUST foster guilt and therefore MUST imprison.
You see? I want you to be willing to look at the possibility … I’m telling you it’s the fact, but let’s gentle it a little bit and say, look at the possibility that even when you’re having a pleasant experience, even when you appear to be doing everything that’s friendly and supportive and kind, et cetera, if you’re not doing it hand-in-hand with the Father, where the Father’s Perspective is reflecting to you the truth about everything you’re relating to, then you’re in a special relationship and guilt is part and parcel of it. And the kindness is calculated to cause you to find a way to believe that you’re feeling good when you’re not. That you are succeeding in becoming a real boy or a real girl instead of a puppet. You see? . . without being connected to your Father.
The special relationship is totally without meaning without a body.
You see? I mentioned earlier that a special relationship is believed to be something that goes on between persons. And what does that really mean? It means between this person here: two-arms, two-legs, a head. And this person here: two-arms, two-legs, a head, a body. You see? . . that a special relationship is going on between bodies.
The special relationship is totally without meaning without a body. And if you value it, you must ALSO value the body. And what you value you WILL keep.
You won’t let go of it, you won’t let it be released. You won’t let others be released from it and you won’t release yourself from it, because you value it.
The special relationship is a device for limiting Your self to a body, and for limiting your perception of others to THEIRS.
You see? “You over there in that shape, have an obligation to me over here in this shape and we must behave this way toward each other or I will employ guilt in whatever means of control I can to bring you into line … you, that shape over there.” But see, special relationships aren’t between shapes. Special relationships are the structures of mutual definitions that are employed as that which gives meaning to all actions and all things that you engage in.
The special relationship is a device for limiting Your self …
… two words …
… Your self to a body, and for limiting your perception of others to THEIRS. The great rays would establish the total LACK of value of the special relationship, if they were seen. For in seeing them, the body would disappear because its VALUE would be lost.
Now it’s very important to understand this. The great rays are the fundamental meanings of Being. You could perhaps, call them the fundamental energies of Being. They can be identified as: Life, Truth, Love, Principle, Soul, Mind and Spirit. These are Meanings. These are Meanings that are embodied in every aspect of Creation.
Now, in moments of illumination—which many of you have had without totally Waking up—you may well have experienced looking at an object and having your experience transformed so that the object, which we’ll say, is an inanimate object, becomes an experience of Living Love. It’s like that object is illuminated with Meaning of divinity, where it’s clear that what you’re experiencing right there is the Father, and that the substance of it is Love, and that it’s Loving you, and that it is part of you even though it’s a distinct experience that you might say seems to be separate from you, at least it’s not confusing to you—that it is It, and you are You, all of It, You and It are One and it’s all Love.
When that experience of Meaning occurs, the object as you’ve experienced it disappears.
How you had defined it becomes utterly inconsequential in the face of the experience of the Movement and Presence of God that is infilling you at that moment. It has Meaning entirely separate and apart from your best and worst definitions—mutually agreed upon definitions. The object doesn’t disappear, but it’s finite meaning does. And instead of appearing to be a rock or a vase, it’s an experience of the Presence of God illuminating you. It’s God, not a rock god, but God Himself Being the Presence that you had defined as a rock and given other meanings to.
The great rays, when their meanings become obvious to you in Creation which you had defined as matter, will cause the material universe—all the structures of definitions that you had created—it will cause them to, like, vanish in the face of the overwhelming awesome experience of Reality, with a capital “R.”
And so, yes, you could say that the body disappears. The rock as a composite of minerals or an aggregate of minerals, et cetera, becomes so meaningless, so empty of meaning in the face of the experience of Love that is being exchanged and which is identified as Oneness, with infinite expression that, indeed, the rock disappeared … God appeared … Reality appeared right there. You see? This is important.
Do you see? The value here is that in your willingness to abandon special relationships, you are willing to abandon identification with form or body. And it constitutes a release of bondage because you’re able to say, “Wow, special relationships aren’t something between me and so-and-so. Special relationships are the intertwined definitions that we have decided to employ with each other. They’re head-trips, not actualities, not us. You see?
And in that realization the definitions become released from all of the emotions of persons that you’ve been employing. And healing can occur between you and the one you were having a special relationship with. You see?
And the opportunity for everything about the forms of you and the one you’re in relationship, has the opportunity to begin to register with you as Love … Love embodied, you might say… Love being, radiating, embracing, including you with the awareness that the same thing is going on, you could say, in reverse—a Oneness of infinity, where all of the little details of persons vanish in the awesomeness of God, in the awesomeness of what Love really is. And it provides the opportunity for both of you to [snaps fingers] Wake up. You see?
The special relationship is a device for limiting Your self to a body, and for limiting your perception of others to THEIRS. The great rays would establish the total LACK of value of the special relationship, if they were seen.
If you have a glimpse of the great rays or just one of them, it establishes for you the total lack of value of the special relationship, of the way you’ve chosen to be together unconscious of your Source, and therefore, unconscious of the awesomeness of the Son or Daughter of God.
The great rays would establish the total LACK of value of the special relationship, if they were seen. For in seeing them, the body would disappear because its VALUE would be lost.
Your misunderstanding of what the body is would disappear because the value you were giving to the structures of mutual definitions that constituted your misunderstanding would vanish. They would simply be meaningless in face of the experience of the Presence of God that feels like Love unified and unifying.
And so your whole investment in seeing it …
… with misunderstanding …
… would be withdrawn from it. You see the world you VALUE.
It will be very helpful for you to remember that a special relationship is not something that occurs between persons. Special relationships are the structures of mutual agreements that are being employed to give meaning to everything that already has infinite Meaning, because everything is already the Kingdom of Heaven, everything is already Creation as God is Being It.
And so, it’s the abandonment… the willingness to abandon the mutual agreements, the head-trips.
This is, at one and the same time, very simple and very important. And don’t let your ego try to tell you that this is too complicated [chuckles] to understand. Because the simple fact is that all of you employ it everyday to one degree or another. And that’s where the honesty comes in.
Now, be careful, because you could sit there and say, “Well, Raj, you’re trying to make me feel guilty. You’re telling me that all of my relationships are special relationships. You’re telling me that I’m on the wrong track. You’re trying to making me feel bad. You’re trying to depress me. You’re trying to get me to look at something that can’t possibly benefit me in any way.” You see? And you would if you could divert me from the simplicity that I’m sharing with you that would release you, because it feels like freedom to not have to move in a direction where you’re having to look at flaws in yourself.
Well, the simple answer is, that I’m pointing you in the direction of the holy instant, which is the Holy Spirit’s most helpful tool in protecting you from the attraction of guilt—the real lure in the special relationship. I’m pointing you in the direction of the holy instant—the practice of the two-step—so that you don’t have to try to make me guilty of making you feel guilty by pointing out your flaws. I’m not pointing out your flaws. You see?
The special relationship isn’t between persons. It’s all in the head-trip. And I’m speaking to you as my Brother, my Sister, as your Brother for the purpose of getting you to not get sidetracked yourself by trying to make me or anyone else guilty and instead hesitate … hesitate … shut up … and in the silence abandon your commitment to your feeling of overwhelm and your feeling of guilt that you’re laying on yourself for not being able to be as competent as you ought to be, and have you ask, “Father, what is the truth here? Holy Spirit—that which is nothing more than my right Mind—what is the truth here? I care to join with That which Knows.” You see?
So, this coming week don’t go on a witch hunt to find all the places where you are doing this awful thing called, “practicing a special relationship” and being an awful representative of Creation. No, rather use your time to remember to practice the holy instant. It’s the way you ask the Holy Spirit for help, by helping Him—you help the Holy Spirit by bringing your attention to Him. You help that which is nothing more than your right Mind, by bringing your attention to It … you see? . . and instead of insisting upon your own private mind that you and another have agreed to practice together, as though it could really be done with commitment. You see?
Let this be a grand week. Don’t be afraid to look at what doesn’t work so that you can acknowledge that it doesn’t work and so that you might realize you are really not interested in engaging in what doesn’t work. And therefore, you are willing to do something different, instead of trying to make guilty the one who is pointing out the something different that would free you.
And I look forward to being with you next week.
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