Table of Contents
Good afternoon. And welcome to everyone who’s joining us on the internet.
Before we begin reading, I want to remind you of something we read a couple of weeks ago, the statement being, “The Holy Spirit is nothing more than your Real Mind.”
You will find me emphasizing this somewhat frequently because in the first and second editions of the Course that statement was changed to read, “The Holy Spirit is in your mind.”
What I said to Helen was, “The Holy Spirit is nothing more than your Real Mind.” I am emphasizing this repetitively because if you only have the first or second edition of the Course available to you, you have no occasion to hear what I actually said which is significantly different in its meaning. And so you need to be reminded.
The Holy Spirit is nothing more than your Real Mind. Why say “nothing more”? That in a way sounds belittling. But what it actually is, it is expansive in terms of what your Real Mind is. Your Real Mind is the Holy Spirit.
Now I’m also going to repeat again that the Holy Spirit—your Real Mind—works on the basis of entirely different Laws than your egos do. Your egos operate according to the mutually-agreed-upon definitions that all of you have created together. The Holy Spirit operates according to the Laws of God. Mind you, although we’re talking about your ego and we’re talking about the Holy Spirit, we’re talking about two different ways of discussing you. You see that? We’re talking about two different ways of discussing you.
If you’re into computers, you will understand that you can have two different operating systems. And a good example of that is the operating system that the Macintosh® uses and the Windows® operating system. When you use the Windows operating system, you cannot access and work in programs written for the Mac®. And if you have a Mac, you cannot access and utilize programs that are written for Windows. A better example could be the difference between Windows and Linux® because both of those operating systems can function on a PC [Personal Computer].
The Holy Spirit is one operating system, and your egos are another operating system. It’s important to understand this because there’s no transfer between the two. And that is why when I speak about your accessing that Place of Excellence in You, I’m not talking about a place of excellence, of goodwill, of loving kindness, of thoughtfulness, or of anything that would operate within the realm of your ego perception of yourself. That is not what I’m talking about. It isn’t the very best of your ego.
The Place of Excellence in You is where this other operating system is functioning, where the Holy Spirit is, where your Real Mind is functioning right now, even though you’re not paying any attention to it as a general rule.
And as I said last week the Course is not addressing your ego to improve it. It is addressing the Truth about the Place of Excellence in You, the Holy Spirit. That which is nothing more than your Real Mind. And in addressing it, it reminds you of It so that you become less invested in your ego sense of things, and will arrive at a point of saying, “Mmmm. I think I may want to change operating systems for a bit and explore what it’s like to be out from my Real Mind.”
Because they are exclusive of each other, you must reach out to something that at the moment seems not to be you. You can’t just slip into your Divinity because your operating system has been one of aggressive and specific and focused use of the Kingdom of Heaven for the purpose of securing your separate safety, security and peace, as well as a well-defined sense of who you are on your own.
So, initially, it will seem as though the Holy Spirit is something different from you. And you will specifically have to reach out for It as though It is different from you. But if you understand as you do this that the Holy Spirit is nothing more than your Real Mind, you will be willing to reach out for It as though It’s different from you because you want to experience the difference, you want to experience the difference in the operating system. And knowing that It is nothing more than your Real Mind that you are reaching out for will give you a sense of confidence that this is a reasonable and intelligent and safe thing to do.
I’ve shared this before and it bears repeating again. When Paul sits down at a Gathering, before he begins he shifts gears. He changes operating systems. He sits there and says, “I allow only”—that’s making one—”I allow only for that which expresses the Christ Consciousness. And I allow only for that which is in harmony with the capital ‘P’ Purpose of capital ‘B’ Being”—God. In other words, “Thy Will, not mine, be done.” There’s the transfer of power. There’s the shift of operating systems. “Thy Will, not mine, be done. Let the reign of Divine Truth, Life and Love be established in me.” And when he says this, these are not just words he is saying. Let the reign of Divine Truth, Life and Love be established in him. “And rule out of me all self-will.” There’s the abandonment of the other operating system. And then there’s a prayer, “And may Thy Word enrich the affections of all mankind and govern them.”
Now in order to practice, shall I say in order to practice the Holy Spirit, not a good choice of words but it gives you the idea, in order to practice the Holy Spirit, you must make a point of shifting operating systems or intending to shift them many times a day. That is what I encourage you to do. Remind yourself that there’s another operating system from which you can be in your daily life. Remind yourself and then invite It. And in the invitation, acknowledge that you’re willing to abandon all self-will, which means being in charge.
This section is entitled:
The Guide to Salvation 1
Well, the Guide to salvation is the Holy Spirit, that which comes forth from a Place of Excellence in You.
The way to learn to know your brother …
Notice it didn’t say, “The way to learn how to wake up.” The Course keeps you well-focused on where it’s at. Waking up has something to do with you learning to know your Brother.
The way to learn to know your brother is by perceiving the Holy Spirit in him. We have already said that the Holy Spirit is the bridge or thought-transfer of perception to knowledge…
In other words, it is the shift from misperception of your Brother, or misperception of the Kingdom of Heaven into the Experience of Knowing your Brother, Knowing the Kingdom of Heaven, the direct Experience of What It Truly Is.
We have already said that the Holy Spirit is the bridge or thought-transfer of perception to knowledge, so we can use the terms as if they were related because, in His mind…
… the Holy Spirit’s …
… they ARE. The relationship MUST be in His mind because, unless it were, the separation between the two ways of thinking would not be open to healing.
In other words, the Holy Spirit must be able to recognize both operating systems. Because if It didn’t, It could not help you, It could not help you to shift from one to the other. It would be impossible and you would be forever asleep.
He …
… the Holy Spirit …
… is part of the Holy Trinity because His mind is partly yours and also partly God’s. This needs clarification, not in statement since we have said it before, but in EXPERIENCE.
Well, how do you think it’s going to translate into experience if it doesn’t involve your relationship with your Brother? Involvement. It won’t. It can’t.
Now you notice that I have not invited your questions for a while, and we’ve just been discussing the Course. And the reason is because at this point there’s a very clear exposition of the way things work and what it is that’s working. And this understanding must be gained, I’m going to say, intellectually if you’re going to arrive at a point where you’re going to yield to the Holy Spirit. You must understand that the Holy Spirit is not something apart and different from you but is your Real Mind.
Now, continuing …
The Holy Spirit is the IDEA of healing. Being thought, the idea GAINS AS IT IS SHARED.
Again, how is it going to be shared if it isn’t extended to a Brother or a Sister? How is it going to be shared if there isn’t involvement?
Continuing …
Being the Call FOR God, it is also the idea OF God.
You see? It is the Idea Of Something that isn’t embraced in the ego operating system.
Since YOU are part of God, it is also the idea of YOURSELF, as well as of all the parts of God.
So you see, what the Holy Spirit is as you consider It, as you open up to It, is far more expansive and all-inclusive than you might have imagined, which means that your Real Mind is far more inclusive and expansive than you might imagine.
Continuing …
The idea of the Holy Spirit shares the property of other ideas because it follows the laws of the Universe of which it is a part.
Mind you, all of this is talking about You! Isn’t it far more interesting to be reading about you than some disembodied Holy Spirit that God brought into existence the moment you chose to be separate and is there to be your distant but really connected Guide? Your Guide is your Right Mind that reflects God and functions according to the Laws of God, and is therefore inseparable from the Whole Universe and inseparable consciously. I’m going to say “mentally” but that’s not the best word. It is inseparable consciously with every other consciousness.
And so your Right Mind is the Intimate, Conscious Experience of every thing and every one with no walls. And in that Experience you find that every thing and every one is You Infinitely speaking, but not “you” like you ever considered yourself before. You Infinitely, You The Very Presence Of The Mind Of God Being What God Is Being.
Don’t fuss. Don’t wish you could ask questions right now. Just hear the meanings that I’m expressing and let them register and let them settle. Let them be in you.
Again …
The idea of the Holy Spirit shares the property of other ideas because it follows the laws of the Universe of which it is a part. Therefore, it is strengthened by being given away. It increases in YOU as you give it to your brothers.
This “you” that it is speaking of that it increases in is this tiny, isolated sense of yourself. And as long as you’re insisting upon being tiny and isolated and alone, with distance, walls, impenetrability between you and your Brothers and Sisters, then the only way in which this new operating system is going to take precedence is when you consciously choose to extend the Father’s Love to your Brothers and Sisters. And as that is done, it increases the Idea of the Holy Spirit. It increases the Presence of the Holy Spirit both in you and in your Brothers and Sisters.
Continuing …
Since thoughts do not have to be conscious to exist, your brother does not have to be aware of the Holy Spirit, either in himself or in you, for this miracle to occur.
Again, a little bit of leaven leavens the whole lump. Your increasing awareness of the existence of the Holy Spirit as your Real Mind and the lessening of your resistance to that fact, leavens the whole of the Brotherhood of man. It changes everyone. Those who are awake experience you as being more conscious of them. And those who are not awake are to some degree less asleep than before. And no one has to be aware of it in order for it to occur as long as one of you is making the shift of operating systems, even if it’s for a fraction of a second.
Continuing …
Your brother may have dissociated the Call for God, just as YOU have.
In other words, put it out of sight, out of mind, and is ignoring it so that it can have the frightful delight of believing that he or she is independent, alone, vulnerable, but capable of overcoming the vulnerability, and in the process of overcoming the vulnerability demonstrating its actual existence. Crazy.
Continuing. Reading again …
Your brother may have dissociated the Call for God, just as YOU have. The dissociation is healed in BOTH of you as YOU become aware of the Call for God in him, and thus acknowledge its BEING.
You know, if you realize even slightly that there’s the Holy Spirit in you, the Call for God in you, you immediately recognize that it’s true of every one of your Brothers and Sisters. And so now a new set of messengers have been sent out into your world to your Brothers and Sisters that must come back to you confirming the Holy Spirit in them. And now the leavening has increased.
Continuing …
There are two ways of seeing your brother which are diametrically opposed to each other. They must both be in YOUR mind because YOU are the perceiver.
Mind you, it doesn’t say you are the Knower, the capital “K” Knowing of Truth. You are the perceiver.
They must also be in HIS because you are perceiving HIM.
Now, let’s be clear here. It doesn’t mean that it must actually be in him. But because you are in a state of perception, everything that is true about you will have to be true about him in your mind.
What is the answer to this? The solution? I’m reading.
See him through the Holy Spirit in HIS mind, …
… and here the word “His” refers to Holy Spirit.
RAJ READING: See him …
… your Brother …
… through the Holy Spirit in HIS …
… the Holy Spirit’s …
… mind and you will recognize Him …
… the Holy Spirit …
… in YOURS. What you acknowledge in your brother you ARE acknowledging in yourself, and what you share you strengthen.
Now again understand that this is a Law. What you share you strengthen and it’s true in both operating systems. And so what you share from the ego strengthens the ego. And what you share from the Holy Spirit, the other operating system in you, is strengthened.
Now just for one further point of clarity. There’s really only one operating system, and it’s the Holy Spirit. The operating system called the ego is an imagined operating system made-up out of whole cloth, out of absolutely nothing, pure fantasy. But, being the Christ That You Are, being the Holy Son Or Daughter Of God That You Are that you can’t stop being, you are using all of your Divine Power, if I may put it that way, to energize your fantasy. And you are bringing all of your Omnipotent Capacity to bear upon the reinforcement of your fantasy and the commitment to your fantasy so that you become highly focused. So highly focused on your fantasy that you block everything else out and you seem to make your fantasy real to you.
But understand this. All the time that you are seeming to succeed in making a fantasy real, you are doing it with That Which will forever keep it false. You are using your Capacity As The Christ, which means that that which negates the false sense of you is ever-present and keeping the sense of yourself that you’re trying to establish from becoming real in any way. What you are using to create a fantasy is constantly negating the fantasy.
Continuing …
The Voice of the Holy Spirit IS weak in you. That is why you MUST share it.
You see that? By sharing It, you strengthen It. By sharing It, you embody It. By sharing It you energize It in your life, in your awareness, and It does not remain successfully hidden out of sight, therefore out of mind, and bind you to total ignorance, you might say.
Continuing …
It must be INCREASED in strength before YOU can hear it. It is impossible to hear it in yourself while it is so weak in your OWN mind.
Or shall I say, so blocked in your own mind.
It is not weak in itself, but it IS limited by your unwillingness to hear it. Will itself is an idea, and is therefore strengthened by being shared.
You remember I mentioned that at the beginning of each Gathering Paul says, “Thy Will, not mine, be done. And let the reign of Divine Truth, Life, and Love be established in me and rule out of me all self-will.”
There is will in both operating systems. In the ego operating system you think it’s yours. You think it’s a possession and something that gives you authority. In the Holy Spirit the Will is the Father’s Will which All That The Father Is Be-ing yields to. In other words, the Infinite Creation of God is forever yielding to God by not claiming an existence of its own in its own right. You see?
Continuing …
Will itself is an idea, and is therefore strengthened by being shared. If you make the mistake of looking for the Holy Spirit in yourself alone, your meditations will frighten you because, by ADOPTING the ego’s viewpoint, you are undertaking an ego-alien journey with the ego as GUIDE. This is BOUND to produce fear.
And this is exactly why as you begin the shift of operating systems, you have to abandon the valuing of your ego and of your present sense of everything. And you must reach outside of the boundaries of it completely. You must reach out to the Holy Spirit as though it is something different from you. Because if you don’t do that, you will have nothing to yield to, and yielding is the essential means of breaking the dream of isolation and waking up.
Continuing …
Delay is of the ego because time is ITS concept. Delay is obviously a time idea. Both time and delay are meaningless in eternity.
In other words, in the other operating system.
We have said before that the Holy Spirit is God’s ANSWER to the ego. Everything of which the Holy Spirit reminds you is in direct opposition to the ego’s notions because true and false perceptions are THEMSELVES opposed.
Now listen to this.
The Holy Spirit has the task of UNDOING what the ego has made.
Uh oh! Uh oh! So your egos have been put on notice. But you must understand this so that you don’t approach the Course thinking that what it’s going to uncover to you is going to be helpful to your ego. If that’s clear to you, then you will be able to more clearly see that the Course is going to help you shift operating systems whereby you become free of illusions. How? By coming into the conscious clear Experience of your Real Mind. And that is not a frightening proposition. You can swallow that. You can embrace that. And you can dare to explore that.
Reading …
He …
… the Holy Spirit …
… undoes it in the same realm of discourse in which the ego itself operates, or the mind would be unable to understand the change.
Divine Love always has met and always will meet every human need. In other words, Divine Love meets you right where you are, right where the human need is, right in the same realm of discourse in which the ego itself operates. So rather than trying to escape the world and the universe, let the Holy Spirit in right where the need is, right where the world seems to be.
The world and universe, all of creation, is not something to rise above. It is something to invite the Holy Spirit into. Relationships aren’t something to be gotten out of but something to invite the Holy Spirit and Its perspective into. Why? So that you might be able to share it with your Brother and strengthen It by the sharing.
Continuing …
We have repeatedly emphasized that one level of the mind is not understandable to another.
In other words, one operating system is not understandable to another operating system.
So it is with the ego and the Soul; with time and eternity. Eternity is an idea of God, so the Soul understands it perfectly. Time is a belief of the ego, so the lower mind, which IS the ego’s domain, accepts it without question.
We might also call the lower mind the imagined mind, the fantasy mind.
Continuing …
The only aspect of time which is really eternal is NOW. That is what we really mean when we say that “now is the only time.” The literal nature of this statement does not mean anything to the ego, which interprets it, at best, to mean “don’t worry about the future.” That is not what it really means at all.
Now is the present. The Presence, the present is where Presence presents Itself, where God Be’s.
Continuing …
The Holy Spirit is the Mediator between the interpretations of the ego…
… one operating system …
… and the knowledge …
… or capital “K” Knowing …
… of the Soul.
The other Operating System.
His ability to deal with symbols enables Him to work AGAINST the ego’s beliefs in its own language.
Mind you, your … I’m going to go back and reread this. Your Real Mind is the mediator between the interpretations of your fantasized mind and the Knowledge of the Soul. Your Right Mind’s ability to deal with symbols enables It to work against your ego’s beliefs in its own language.
[Actual next sentence: His equal ability to look BEYOND symbols into eternity also enables Him to understand the laws of God, for which He speaks.]
Your Real Mind’s equal ability to look beyond symbols into eternity also enables It to understand the Laws of God, for which It speaks.
It’s really important for you to read this understanding that when it refers to the Holy Spirit, it is referring to your Real Mind. This is integrating. And this affirms the Integrity of your Being divinely speaking that you never lost and which is fully functional in you right now. In the realization of this, it strengthens your ability to abandon your obsession with and commitment to the mutually-agreed-upon definitions, the infrastructure, the operating system of the ego.
He …
… the Holy Spirit …
… can thus perform the function of REINTERPRETING what the ego makes, NOT by destruction, but by UNDERSTANDING. Understanding is light, and light leads to knowledge.
Or Knowing.
The Holy Spirit …
… your Real Mind.
… is IN light because He …
… It …
… is in you who ARE light…
… You see? You are Light.
… but you yourselves …
… from the ego’s vantage point …
… do not know this. It is therefore the task of the Holy Spirit to reinterpret YOU on behalf of God.
And what it doesn’t say here is, “to you.” That’s the way Sanity returns. When your Real Mind, your capital “S” Sanity reinterprets your delusions to you and leaves you with understanding and thus brings about re-Integration.
Do you see how cohesive and integrated the means of Coming Home is? The essence of What You Divinely Are becomes the building blocks of your Awakening. That’s Integrity and that’s Love. And it requires you to be willing to honor something in you beyond your current limited definitions of yourselves. And to the degree that you acknowledge and value the Something Of Essential Integrity in you and you let It find experiencing, or extension, It becomes strengthened in you and in your Brother and Sister and in your world because there are no private thoughts.
You’re not tiny and you’re not separated, and therefore the Essential You exists, functions, acts in its Wholeness which is Universal. When you are awake there is nothing you can do or be that does not constitute a Universal Experience for All That Exists. That’s how expansive the benefit of your sharing is.
Continuing …
You cannot understand yourselves alone. This is because you have no meaning APART from your rightful place in the Sonship, and the rightful place of the Sonship in God.
Another way of saying this is what was said earlier, that you have no meaning separated from your Father. Denying your Father, existing separate from your Father causes you not to be a Son or a Daughter. It causes you to lose the experience of your Identity, and without Identity you are meaningless. You see?
You cannot understand yourselves alone. This is because you have no meaning APART from your rightful place in the Sonship, and the rightful place of the Sonship in God. This is your life, your eternity, and YOURSELF. It is of this that the Holy Spirit reminds you. It is this that the Holy Spirit SEES. This vision invariably frightens the ego because it is so calm. Peace is the ego’s greatest enemy because, according to ITS interpretation of reality, war is the guarantee of its survival.
That’s part of the underlying structure of the other operating system.
The ego becomes strong in strife. If you believe there IS strife, you will react viciously because the idea of danger has entered your mind. The idea itself IS an appeal to the ego.
But listen to this.
The Holy Spirit …
… your Real Mind.
… is as vigilant as the ego to the call of danger, opposing it with His strength just as the ego WELCOMES it with all its might.
So, if there’s any question in anybody’s mind about whether there’s a difference between right and wrong, or that it’s just a matter of one man’s meat is another man’s poison, let us no longer be confused about this. There is right and wrong. There is that which is opposed to something else between which a choice has to be made.
Continuing …
The Holy Spirit counters this welcome by welcoming peace. Peace and eternity are as closely related as are time and war. Perception as well as knowledge …
… or Knowing …
… derives meaning from relationships.
That’s the same in both operating systems.
Those which you accept are the foundations of your beliefs.
The infrastructure. The operating system.
The separation is merely another term for …
… what? Not a distance between you and your Father, but …
… a split mind.
It’s one part of you separated from another part of you by a conscious act of denial of the part that’s being left out in the cold, the part that’s being ignored. That’s the separation. It’s not really a separation from God. It’s a movement from the clear Experience of Reality into a purely fantastic imagined experience.
Again …
The separation is merely another term for a split mind. It was not an act, but a THOUGHT. Therefore, the idea of separation can be given away, just as the idea of unity can. Either way, the idea will be strengthened IN THE MIND OF THE GIVER.
Again, either way it’s a law. Either way the idea will be strengthened. Where? In the mind of the giver.
Do you see why this needs to be addressed before we talk about … well, let’s say how to do miracles, how to change your world, how to heal, how to redeem, how to regenerate, how to bless? If you don’t realize that you’ve been operating according to an operating system which at some point you imaginatively created for yourself, then you are lost. You’re totally unconscious of anything except the trap of the fantasy that you are consumed by.
When you learn that it is an operating system and not a fact, and that there is another operating system and the other operating system is valid, but the one you’ve been using is invalid, you have made an unsettling discovery. One that is appropriately called a disillusioning discovery. Disillusioning because you’re in a position of recognizing that there is an illusion that can be abandoned because there’s a real operating system. So you’re not lost, but everything that you had valued isn’t really valuable.
And so, if you don’t understand this, and if you don’t realize that the Call for God is a call to another operating system, you will just continue to take every new spiritual expression and try to use it from the operating system currently in use and will remain stuck. What we’re uncovering here is the fact that there are two operating systems going on in you. Not operating systems being enforced from some outside source but entirely within the singular presence that you are. One of them disintegrates you and one of them integrates you. Knowing this means that you can now make a choice. But making the choice is going to require that you yield what you have valued to that which is apparently unknown to you because you have so successfully blocked It off from yourself. But now you know the direction to move in. And you know that the Holy Spirit is your own Real Mind, and that therefore any exploration into It will constitute an increased Integrity of your Essential Valuable Being.
So now you know what needs to be addressed. And in the addressing of that successfully by persistence until the connection is made and then the broadening of the connection, you will find through the reinterpretation of everything that you’ve been aware of by the Holy Spirit, by your Real Mind, you will shift operating systems. You may not do it wholly all at once. You may do it as Paul does it; frequently but not all the time. But every moment you spend connected to the Holy Spirit, your Real Mind, you find yourself extending, giving, sharing what you find yourself Knowing in that Place. And the extension of it always involves the acknowledgement that the Truth you’re experiencing is true about your Brother, and therefore about yourself, and the leaven increases the leavening.
Continuing …
[Raj did not read: The ego is the symbol of separation, just as the Holy Spirit is the symbol of peace. What you perceive in others you are strengthening in YOURSELF.]
You …
… from the old operating system …
… let your mind misperceive, but the Holy Spiri …
… your Real Mind …
… lets your mind reinterpret its own misperceptions.
Now that’s called education. And that’s called learning. And that’s called change. And that’s called redemption.
Continuing …
The Holy Spirit is the perfect teacher.
Can you imagine a Teacher more perfect for you than your Self with a capital “S”? If you stop to think about it, it’s quite incredible the way your reawakening is set up because it’s so full of Integrity. And it’s so foolproof.
Again …
The Holy Spirit is the perfect teacher. He uses only what your minds ALREADY understand to teach you that you do NOT understand it. The Holy Spirit can deal with an unwilling learner without going counter to his will because part of his will IS still for God.
Part of your will is still for God.
Despite the ego’s attempts to conceal this part it is still much stronger than the ego, even though the ego does not recognize it.
That in you which is the Will for God, no matter how much you’ve blocked it from your awareness, is still stronger than the infrastructure of mutually-agreed-upon definitions that you have created.
Continuing …
The Holy Spirit recognizes it perfectly because it is His own dwelling place, or the place in the mind where He is at home.
YOU are at home there, too, because it is a place of peace and peace is of God. You who are part of God are not at home EXCEPT in His peace. If peace is eternal, you are at home only in eternity. The ego made the world as IT perceives it, but the Holy Spirit, the REINTERPRETER of what the ego made, sees it only as a teaching device for bringing you home.
And so I and the Holy Spirit say, “Look at the roses. Look at the petals. Look at the glass on the glass-topped table and be willing to see something new there, something that doesn’t fit the definitions that you’ve given to it. Be willing to see the Presence of God. Be willing to see an Idea there, rather than matter. Be willing to see the Substance of Spirit there, instead of the substance of matter. Look with innocent eyes.”
Continuing …
The Holy Spirit must perceive time and reinterpret it into the timeless. The mind must be led into eternity THROUGH time because, having made time, it is capable of perceiving its opposite.
Remember I said before that the only “creative”—and that word “creative” should be in quotes—the only “creative” capacity you have as an ego is to block the Experience of Creation. There is no capacity to make a new creation. So the only capacity you have as an ego to be “creative” is to block off more and more and more of Creation from your Conscious Awareness.
So …
The mind must be led into eternity THROUGH time because, having made time, it is capable …
… it is capable …
… of perceiving its opposite.
If you are capable of seeming to create something for yourself through an act of denial of Reality, then you know at the bottom line there is a choice other than what you’re experiencing because you used that other choice as the point of denial in order to create the illusion.
[faint, no microphone] It’s too much. It’s too much. I have to speak up from my integrity. 2
No, this needs to be…
Well, okay. I’ve just got through spending six weeks reading a manual from my sewing machine that I don’t understand. And then I go take a class and I have a teacher reading that manual to me, and I’m sorry, I don’t get that manual. Now I don’t learn this way. I can’t learn this way. It’s, you know, it’s bulldozing my mind and I have to speak up.
I learn by taking one jewel and assimilating it and embracing it fully. When I have this wealth of one concept after another being presented, I can’t absorb it. And there are so many questions I have after each paragraph, I have to speak up and say something. I have to say I can’t move this fast because I want to learn what’s in here.
And so I have to say, you know, either I have to wait … I’m so … it raises my frustration level much like a child must who first enters first and second grade, you know, and they’re on to the fourth grade material. I have to say something here because if I don’t I’m overlooking what I intuitively love about this book, but yet not fully understood.
Now Paul and I have discussed this behind the scenes already. This is not new. I’m not throwing something at him. But I’ve got to speak up here because we’re all involved in this. And I’ve already run over must be ten different ideas that I’m not grasping. Now maybe the human mind may never grasp it but somewhere I’ve got to be in sync with it. So I’m begging can we move a little slower where I am not getting enough examples for in depth understanding.
And I wonder if others in the group are feeling this way. I just had to say it.
I’m coming unglued. I’m coming unglued absolutely.
I’m not. I’m right with you.
Fast or slow once in a while I get.
I’m really following with this. For me, and it’s only because I had a really odd experience back in like 2000. It’s called like a kundalini experience and it was just like my mind was really opened. And this was like I had a vision and it was just like there was nothing but white light, you know, with God and it was just pure peace and everything like that. And then for some reason I felt a fall or a separation take place. And it was just like all of a sudden it was just like I’ve fallen and it was one mass ball of light and it was falling in a spiral circle and it seemed to create the stars and everything. And then I seem to be on this planet and it seemed like my consciousness had been split asunder and thrown everywhere.
And what I found was, is that from what you’re saying is, is that everything that I’m seeing and everything like that is just the idea that I had of separation. And that as I start to open myself up and let go of my ego definitions of who I think I am and start loving and opening up to everything, the Reality of the situation of being in the real world with God and everything will be my full experience as I open up and allow the Holy Spirit to make that conscious again. I fully understand what he’s saying.
I’m feeling very connected with what Susan was expressing. And as I’m hearing you read on and explain this, my mind is working in picture form and I’m trying to get an analogy that would help me to understand from this ego perception that I’m experiencing. And one of the things that came to my mind that was sort of helpful was, you know, I’m seeing this paper cup on the table and imagining that if there’s an infilling of Love that comes into this perception, ego perception that I’m seeing myself as a paper cup that can be filled from meditating, let’s say. And then if I say, “okay, now I’ve got this infilling” and I close the top of that paper cup and say, “now this is mine, I have this,” then I’m closing off the capability of continuing to be filled so that I’m overflowing and then I actually have the capacity to love and to give, but it’s not my giving. It’s the overflowing of the Holy Spirit that is just filling this to overflowing. And I just … my ego perception wants to take credit for extending Love, and when I try to do that I block the flow of Love.
Indeed.
So it’s kind of … I don’t if that’s helping. But when you’re saying that by giving we’re reinforcing that experience …
Strengthening it.
Strengthening it. To me I can’t give something that I don’t have and so …
That is …
… I don’t have any love of my own from an ego standpoint except a sort of a bargain kind of idea of love. And the Real Love Is Of God.
Indeed, and one of the elements that allows you to know whether it’s coming from the ego or from the Holy Spirit or the Father is that when it is not from your ego, you will have no way of making a connection to what has happened where you can say, “I was responsible for that. I did that.” You will know you were involved but there will be no way to feel that you authored it. You will know that you were inseparable from it and you will have the joy of the experience, but afterwards you will have to say something to the effect that, “I was filled with inspiration and what came forth was incredibly beautiful, wonderful or helpful, but,” quote, “It didn’t come from me,” unquote, meaning I wasn’t the originator of it.
So we can remain innocent that way.
You could look at it that way, yes.
When it’s from the ego you will definitely be able to take credit for it and feel pride around it. Now it is an entirely new way of being to be the Presence of the Movement of Love without being able to take credit for it. To be something wonderful, to be the Presence of Fulfillment, to be a true agent for change is a new kind of experience because a personal sense of authorship is not connected with it in any way. But it doesn’t bother you because there was such a complete experience of involvement with It that you were inseparable from It. That kind of experience of being a truly meaningful Presence without having authored the event, that is part of being from the new operating system.
And you will experience a sense of loss of the previous capacity you had to be able to take credit and to feel pride and to think that you knew that it validated you as a worthwhile being. There will seem to be the loss of that experience but it will be replaced by something entirely different, that being as I said the experience of being inseparable from the Movement Itself, of that Movement not being different from you in any way. And the only way I can put this is having the Experience of having been Meaningful because there is infinite feedback from all your Brothers and Sisters who are awake confirming, I’m going to say, God In The Event. This is a new way of experiencing Identity.
I’ve had glimpses of that in my past and I long for that to return. And I really want to appreciate Susan’s courage to come forth and express the frustration that I feel too. But at the same time I also sometimes wonder … you know we get so much intellectual … I mean the words that are being given in this Text and your explanation, sometimes it almost seems it’s, like Susan said, it’s too much. And it sort of confounds the mind almost like one of those … what do they call those … Buddhist quatrains or something, I don’t know what they called them, where it so confuses the mind that finally the mind just says, “I give up.” And in that giving up then maybe there’s a chance for us to feel the Love that’s being extended.
And I really feel it here. When I come in the door and I smell Susan’s cooking, [getting emotional] that fills me every bit as much as listening to you, Raj. I just … I’m sorry, I’m getting emotional. I want to pass the mic to somebody.]
Indeed, Susan, what you were feeling was like a child in a small river nine to twelve inches deep sitting on the rocky bottom and enjoying a little bit of buoyancy so that with a little push on the rocks, she would float a little bit and the current would move her. But then having moved or been moved by the current to an area a little shallower where the current was faster, finding that when she buoyed herself off the pebbles she was moved faster than she anticipated, and felt a loss of control. Indeed, what I’m engaged in here doesn’t have so much to do with the words as it has to do with having exactly the right ideas expressed in exactly the right timing so that it causes aha’s to occur.
Now I’m going to honor at the same time your request. We have gone many weeks without the ability to interact. And so I’m going to invite everyone this week to give some thought to what we have talked about and what questions you have had. And we will devote next Sunday, or at least as much time as it takes to answer or explore the questions that concerns the doubts or whatever that you might have. This format will not continue indefinitely. It has been appropriate and it will continue to be appropriate for a short time.
I commend you for speaking up. And I encourage all of you whether it’s here or whether it’s when you’re dealing with your own Guide, when you feel like you’ve just had it, then stop and have it out. Maintain that degree of integrity and realness with your Guide or the Holy Spirit or the Father.
Or your wife.
Someone said, “Or your wife.” Your wife is as good an object of your affection as the Holy Spirit is. Yes. Yes.
I can always go along with whatever’s going on. And I’ve not found it to be a problem to stay with you all the while. And I don’t get in the road. So what do you have, and I think I already know what the answer is, is that I accept. And we can go next week and ask all kinds of questions that we don’t understand. Except my position …
I want the questions to relate to what we have been reading about. It will not shift into, let us say, a typical Gathering where questions about all different subjects can be brought up. We’re here discussing and exploring the ideas expressed in the Course.
And so being that, there’s a good possibility that I don’t have any questions. That my part is to be gracious and allow for the questions even though I would just love for you to continue on and just talk for hours and hours more and I wouldn’t leave you ever. So that’s my part is to just sit and listen to questions.
Your Brothers and Sisters with questions are as worthy an object of your affection as Mark’s wife is.
I agree. I agree. I knew the answer. And I go along.
Has this been on the internet?
Yes.
One more thing. The value I see in pausing while we’re moving along swiftly here is… I’ll give an example. There’s a paragraph here that’s hanging me up. Mainly it’s the language whether it’s in this book or the other one. It’s still the language that’s hanging me up. I don’t know if I should go into it.
I will ask you to save it for next week.
May I say something though not about the Course?
Certainly.
I hope I don’t forget. Whatever paragraph would be hanging me up, if I happen to have an unrecognized part of me that’s interpreting but imagining that I’m joined and I’m not paying attention to the level of frustration that I’m experiencing because there is an unrecognized part of me or of what I thought I was, interpreting it, I can’t move any further until there is a shift of … it’s like in meditation. Once you see that you’re in a stuck level or an altered state, the moment you see it, the moment you grasp where that misperception was, the moment you see it, you can move beyond it.
But obviously there’s some identification that I’m having here that’s preventing me from seeing truly what’s in that paragraph. And so I can’t move forward. And the group’s going to have to wait or I’m going to have to go over there and do my homework.
We’ll wait.
You know, because …
Indeed.
… I have to recognize that what it was in that strata that I was seeing with that I don’t need, in order then to get back into the movement and it be smooth sailing again. And that requires me to pause. If I don’t pause, I will stay stuck where I am and everybody else moves forward, which increases my frustration. And they’ve all gotten it, but here I am stuck.
So I think it’s a learning procedure, a process. And if somebody else were saying this, you know, I could feel quite impatient with it and say, “Come on. I know this stuff. I’ve known it for twenty years.” Well, guess what? I know this stuff and I have known it for twenty years. But something’s hanging me up. And I’m sorry to miss the beauty of letting this sink in, because I want it to sink in and lift me even further out of a personal sense of self. Okay.
Yes. Thank you. I know that there are others who thank you for speaking up.
We will end on this note of appreciation. And I look forward and I know many others look forward to next Sunday. Thank you for being very real.
I love you all.
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