43 The holy relationship is the expression of the holy instant in living
in this world. Like everything about salvation, the holy instant is a
practical device, witnessed to by its results. The holy instant never
fails. The experience of it is always felt. Yet without expression, it
is not remembered. The holy relationship is a constant reminder of the
experience in which the relationship became what it is. And as the
unholy relationship is a continuing hymn of hate in praise of its
maker, so is the holy relationship a happy song of praise to the
Redeemer of relationships.
44 The holy relationship, a major step toward the perception of the real
world, is learned. It is the old unholy relationship transformed and
seen anew. The holy relationship is a phenomenal teaching
accomplishment. In all its aspects, as it begins, develops, and becomes
accomplished, it represents the reversal of the unholy relationship.
Be comforted in this—the only difficult phase is the beginning. For
here, the goal of the relationship is abruptly shifted to the exact
opposite of what it was. This is the first result of offering the
relationship to the Holy Spirit to use for His purposes.
45 This invitation is accepted immediately, and the Holy Spirit wastes
no time in introducing the practical results of asking Him to enter. At
once His goal replaces yours. This is accomplished very rapidly, but it
makes the relationship seem disturbed, disjunctive, and even quite
distressing. The reason is quite clear. For the relationship as it is,
is out of line with its own goal and clearly unsuited to the purpose
which has been accepted for it. In its unholy condition, your goal was
all that seemed to give it meaning. Now it seems to make no sense. Many
relationships have been broken off at this point, and the pursuit of the
old goal reestablished in another relationship. For once the unholy
relationship has accepted the goal of holiness, it can never again be
what it was.
46 The temptation of the ego becomes extremely intense with this shift
in goals. For the relationship has not as yet been changed sufficiently
to make its former goal completely without attraction, and its structure
is “threatened” by the recognition of its inappropriateness for meeting
its new purpose. The conflict between the goal and the structure of the
relationship is so apparent that they cannot coexist. Yet now the goal
will not be changed. Set firmly in the unholy relationship, there is
no course except to change the relationship to fit the goal. Until
this happy solution is seen and accepted as the only way out of the
conflict, the relationship seems to be severely strained.
47 It would not be kinder to shift the goal more slowly, for the
contrast would be obscured and the ego given time to reinterpret each
slow step according to its liking. Only a radical shift in purpose could
induce a complete change of mind about what the whole relationship is
for. As this change develops and is finally accomplished, it grows
increasingly beneficent and joyous. But at the beginning, the situation
is experienced as very precarious. A relationship undertaken by two
individuals for their unholy purposes suddenly has holiness for its
goal. As these two contemplate their relationship from the point of view
of this new purpose, they are inevitably appalled. Their perception of
the relationship may even become quite disorganized. And yet, the former
organization of their perception no longer serves the purpose they have
agreed to meet.
48 This is the time for faith. You let this goal be set for you.
That was an act of faith. Do not abandon faith, now that the rewards of
faith are being introduced. If you believed the Holy Spirit was there to
accept the relationship, why would you now not still believe that He
is there to purify what He has taken under His guidance? Have faith in
each other in what but seems to be a trying time. The goal is set.
And your relationship has sanity as its purpose. For now you find
yourselves in an insane relationship, recognized as such in the light
of its goal.
49 Now the ego counsels thus—substitute for this another relationship
to which your former goal was quite appropriate. You can escape from
your distress only by getting rid of each other. You need not part
entirely if you choose not to do so. But you must exclude major areas of
fantasy from each other to save your sanity. Hear not this now! Have
faith in Him Who answered you. He heard. Has He not been very explicit
in His answer? You are not now wholly insane. Can you deny that He has
given you a most explicit statement? Now He asks for faith a little
longer, even in bewilderment. For this will go, and you will see the
justification for your faith emerge to bring you shining conviction.
Abandon Him not now, nor each other. This relationship has been reborn
as holy.
50 Accept with gladness what you do not understand, and let it be
explained to you as you perceive its purpose work in it to make it
holy. You will find many opportunities to blame each other for the
“failure” of your relationship, for it will seem at times to have no
purpose. A sense of aimlessness will come to haunt you and to remind you
of all the ways you once sought for satisfaction and thought you found
it. Forget not now the misery you really found, and do not now breathe
life into your failing egos. For your relationship has not been
disrupted. It has been saved.
51 You are very new in the ways of salvation and think you have lost
your way. Your way is lost, but think not this is loss. In your
newness, remember that you have started again together. And take each
other’s hand to walk together along a road far more familiar than you
now believe. Is it not certain that you will remember a goal unchanged
throughout eternity? For you have chosen but the goal of God from which
your true intent was never absent.
52 Throughout the Sonship is the song of freedom heard in joyous echo of
your choice. You have joined with many in the holy instant, and they
have joined with you. Think not your choice will leave you comfortless,
for God Himself has blessed your holy relationship. Join in His
blessing, and withhold not yours upon it. For all it needs now is your
blessing that you may see that in it rests salvation. Condemn salvation
not, for it has come to you. And welcome it together, for it has come
to join you together in a relationship in which all the Sonship is
together blessed.
53 You undertook together to invite the Holy Spirit into your
relationship. He could not have entered otherwise. Although you may have
made many mistakes since then, you have also made enormous efforts to
help Him do His work. And He has not been lacking in appreciation for
all you have done for Him. Nor does He see the mistakes at all. Have you
been similarly grateful to each other? Have you consistently appreciated
the good efforts and overlooked mistakes? Or has your appreciation
flickered and grown dim in what seemed to be the light of the mistakes?
You are now entering upon a campaign to blame each other for the
discomfort of the situation in which you find yourselves. And by this
lack of thanks and gratitude, you make yourselves unable to express
the holy instant, and thus you lose sight of it.
54 The experience of an instant, however compelling it may be, is easily
forgotten if you allow time to close over it. It must be kept shining
and gracious in your awareness of time but not concealed within it. The
instant remains. But where are you? To give thanks to each other is to
appreciate the holy instant and thus enable its results to be accepted
and shared. To attack each other is not to lose the instant but to
make it powerless in its effects. You have received the holy
instant, but you have established a condition in which you cannot use
it. As a result, you do not realize that it is with you still. And by
cutting yourself off from its expression, you have denied yourself its
benefit. You reinforce this every time you attack each other, for the
attack must blind you to yourself. And it is impossible to deny
yourself and recognize what has been given and received by you.
55 You stand together in the holy presence of truth itself. Here is the
goal, together with you. Think you not the goal itself will gladly
arrange the means for its accomplishment? It is just this same
discrepancy between the purpose that has been accepted and the means as
they stand now which seems to make you suffer, but which makes Heaven
glad. If Heaven were outside you, you could not share in its gladness.
Yet because it is within, the gladness, too, is yours. You are joined
in purpose, but remain still separate and divided on the means.
56 Yet the goal is fixed, firm, and unalterable, and the means will
surely fall in place because the goal is sure. And you will share the
gladness of the Sonship that it is so. As you begin to recognize and
accept the gifts you have so freely given to each other, you will also
accept the effects of the holy instant and use them to correct all your
mistakes and free you from their results. And learning this, you will
have also learned how to release all the Sonship and offer it in
gladness and thanksgiving to Him Who gave you your release, and Who
would extend it through you.