Library of Christ Mind Teachings
ACIM Original Edition
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To empathize does not mean to join in suffering, for that is what you
must refuse to understand. That is the ego’s interpretation of
empathy and is always used to form a special relationship in which the
suffering is shared. The capacity to empathize is very useful to the
Holy Spirit, provided you let Him use it in His way. [His way is very
different.] He does not understand suffering and would have you teach
it is not understandable. When He relates through you, He does not
relate through the ego to another ego. He does not join in pain, knowing
that healing pain is not accomplished by delusional attempts to enter
into it and lighten it by sharing the delusion.
2 The clearest proof that empathy as the ego uses it is destructive lies
in the fact that it is applied only to certain types of problems and in
certain people. These it selects out and joins with. And it never
joins except to strengthen itself. [Having identified with what it
thinks it understands, it sees itself and would increase itself by
sharing what is like itself.] Make no mistake about this maneuver;
the ego always empathizes to weaken, and to weaken is always to
attack. You do not know what empathizing means. Yet of this you may be
sure—if you will merely sit quietly by and let the Holy Spirit relate
through you, you will empathize with strength and both of you will
gain in strength, and not in weakness.
3 Your part is only to remember this—you do not want anything you
value to come of the relationship. You will neither to hurt it nor to
heal it in your own way. You do not know what healing is. All you have
learned of empathy is from the past. And there is nothing from the
past that you would share, for there is nothing there that you would
keep. Do not use empathy to make the past real and so perpetuate it.
Step gently aside and let the healing be done for you. Keep but one
thought in mind and do not lose sight of it, however tempted you may be
to judge any situation and to determine your response by judging it.
Focus your mind only on this:
4 *I am not alone, and I would not intrude the past upon my Guest.
I have invited Him, and He is here.
I need do nothing except not to interfere *.