January 25 1991 Friday
Paul: Good evening, Raj.
Raj: Good evening, Paul. What is your ego afraid of? It is afraid you will find out that it isn’t there! Have you ever noticed that even though it gets scared to death, it never dies? All it does is get scared. Except, of course, it feels to you as though it is you who is scared, and then you clamp up and you stop paying attention. Then when it [the ego] is fairly sure that it has distracted you from paying attention, and it knows that the conditions are not present for the discovery of its nonexistence, it unclutches your body and you sigh a sigh of relief and continue awhile in your unconscious ignorance.
I will tell you something: When your ego is acting up most intensely, that is exactly the time when it is easiest for you to slip over the edge, as it were, into freedom, into your Wholeness, into the full comprehension of us—meaning you and me—Here, where we really are engaged in this Communion.
I don’t ever want you to say again that you need to get settled down and become ready to talk with me, because when you are most ready to talk and consciously be with me is exactly when you are the least settled three-dimensionally.
Now, you have been through the wringer, as it were—significantly distracted by the call for giving close undivided attention to a crisis, a call for help. As you put it, you wish your life weren’t getting in the way of your work. Well, Paul, where did this little piece of life that is getting in the way of your work pop up from? Was it really something unworthy of your attention? Was it really a side trip? Or was it, indeed, more grist for the mill? More opportunity to choose to be with me and come from our mutual Fourth-dimensional perspective?
Is that not the work—being “in the world” Awake? Being Fourth-dimensional right where the movement of Life is occurring? Are you saying that this was a real illusion, rather than a distorted perception of Reality that needed to be cut through, so that the Reality of it, the undistressing perfect Reality of it could be perceived? Is this crisis in the Gulf a total illusion, with no underlying Reality to be discerned? And is it really an imposition upon the world? Or is it Reality dynamically demanding that preconceptions be released so that the underlying Reality can be perceived and experienced?
Indeed, we are coming up on the 9th anniversary of our first conversation. It is, indeed time for you to discover Who You Are. It is the shift that is happening, and it is not necessary for you to buckle to your knees in order to give permission. But, if you don’t give permission, you will buckle to your knees—not a threat, but just a statement of the fact that you are, to use the vernacular, “coming around,” regaining Consciousness. And in the process of regaining Consciousness, the sense of being a sidekick will fail. And if you are identifying with the sidekick, you will feel as though you are failing.
Oh, I know, everyone would give their right arm to wake up, to be enlightened. Ha, ha, ha. You can see the reluctance, because it truly means sacrificing the false sense of self, which has been the primary sense of self that one has utilized in order to engage with life. Are you willing to wake up by the 7th of February? Are you willing to wake up by the 26th of January?
Paul: Do you want me to answer, or do you just want me to hear the question?
Raj: I want you to hear the question. If you want to answer it appropriately, I would be most delighted. And so would you.
Paul: The inference I pick up is that I have no choice about the 7th of February, but I do have a choice about the 26th of January.
Raj: That happens to be correct, Paul. But notice that the thought process, itself, is a form of evasiveness.
Just let the microphone stay on.
No, there aren’t any loopholes or escape hatches.
Instead of identifying with the form of you, and instead of identifying with the form of everything you see, let us move back into the context of your being present with me, the context of your being not only Fourth-dimensional, but the Fourth-dimensional Conscious experience of Being—the same Presence of the Father that I am. You will not be able to work from the third-dimensional frame of reference to the Fourth-dimensional frame of reference. You will have to engage in regaining Consciousness from the Fourth dimension. And at the moment, the only experience you have Fourth-dimensionally is occurring when you are speaking with me.
You must begin the journey without distance from the only Fourth-dimensional experience available to you. And yes, that means choosing to constantly be conscious of me. If the only way you are conscious of me is to be listening to me, then listen to me constantly. Let me be the Voice that is constantly emerging from your lips. This does not mean letting me replace you. What it means is, you, consciously choosing to operate from the only conscious experience of being Fourth-dimensional that is available to you, in which you will not disappear, any more than you are nonexistent at this moment.
You see, my Voice is the only anchor you have in Reality, the only Homing beacon you have in the Fourth dimension. Tell me something: If you are flying, and you want to return to home base, you will look for the Homing beacon and you will lock onto it. Now, the ego will say, “what a monotonous ride. There are no surprises. It’s just a straight line home. Turn off the auto-pilot and turn to the right, and turn to the left. Why don’t you return to that place a couple hundred miles back? There was something interesting there.” It says, “Paul, enjoy the freedom of doing what you want to do before you sacrifice that freedom in order to arrive Home.”
By virtue of giving your attention to the only experience of Home available to you at the moment, you will bring into your conscious experience of Conscious Identity the greater and greater experience of Wholeness that really constitutes You. This exercise, if you will, is not one of bringing me more and more into the picture, to the exclusion of Paul.
One who is sleeping and having a dream, who is shaken by the shoulder and called to wake up, may hear the Voice, and it may seem very limiting, from within the dream, to have to sacrifice all of what constitutes the dream for just the one little experience of a Voice. It ultimately means to sacrifice all of the characteristics, all of the dynamics, all of the details—all of the details—that are occupying the mind in the dream. It is to sacrifice that whole state of awareness. And yet, does that Voice become the totality of the dreamer’s experience? Or, as a result of homing in on the Voice, does the dreamer wake up and discover himself, plus all of what actually constitutes Reality beyond the limited, imaginative perceptions of the dream, where the Voice takes its place in the infinity of reality alongside the awakened one who is now in full possession of his faculties, in full possession of himself?
That is the way it works. And that is why the joining is essential—whether it is with me, or whether it is with the Holy Spirit, or whether it is with the Father. Because, Paul, what it does is, it breaks the element of isolation, which is the perpetrator, if you will, of the dream experience.
As you went through the wringer in the last couple of days, as you have been somewhat distracted by the war news, you have said, “these dramatic events and all of the negatives they imply are truly more worthy of my attention than the Homing beacon,” which really means they are truly more worthy elements of the dream than the anchor you have in That which causes Awakening. As a result of that decision of where to invest your trust, it has been difficult for you to be centered. It has been difficult for you to want to speak with me. And when you have wanted to speak with me, it has been difficult for you to hear—not because any of this was true or real, or deserving of your attention, but because of the word you gave, the decision you made, as to what was truly most worthy of your attention and what was not.
Now, Paul, you see how easily you got distracted. And when I say “distracted,” I mean how easily you shifted to listening to me from the three-dimensional frame of reference. What you were inquiring about was not inappropriate, but the fact that you shifted to listening from “body and world” identification is what constituted the distraction—the distraction from clarity. You also notice the emotions inherent in the three-dimensional vantage point, and the draw, the pull of them, which causes further uncentering, together with an inclination to make a commitment not to listen.
Notice again the sleepiness. Notice also the inherent tendency of the sidekick, the personal sense of self, the “role” sense of self—notice its insistence upon understanding logically, understanding intellectually, when the answer doesn’t lie in understanding. The answer is not knowledge. The answer is in the anchoring.
Now, when we first began our conversations, you spontaneously, without my instructing you, made no requirement for what you heard to be accurate. The point was to persist in Listening. The point was the practice of trust in the process of Listening. And likewise, in this new dimension of Listening, this new context of Listening, you are going to have to do the same thing so that you do not cut off the greater experience of the Fourth-dimensional Conscious experience of Being just because you slip back into Listening as the sidekick, Listening as a role or personality channeling answers.
I am indeed speaking here of something quite subtle. But even though it is a subtle distinction, it nevertheless has created a very definitely different experience, consumed with emotions. Your peace is not being felt. Your optimism is absent because you are not anchoring yourself with me! You are Listening to me, but there is not the conscious experience of being anchored Here. You are Listening from a chair in your bedroom.
It is better for you to be Listening from your chair than to be consumed with the emotional reactions inherent in the three-dimensional frame of reference, but I am going to tell you something: Don’t look forward to the end of our conversation so that you can indulge more fully in the ego satisfaction of self-righteous distress. Stay with me. And don’t cover over one ego drama with another by going and watching the news.
Now, we are going to stop here. But I want you to stay in the here and the now—”here” Fourth-dimensionally, and “now” in the sense of eternity—and I want you to know that the here and the now is, indeed, full of Joy. So, let there be a curiosity to experience the Joy. Let there be a curiosity to experience the Peace—he absence of concern—rather than investing your attention and your energy in the sidekick’s attraction to reaction. I will tell you, it doesn’t relate to anything except the generation of irrelevant conflict.
Paul: Very well, Raj.