Oct 23, 2010
T16.5 Specialness and Guilt
Good evening. And welcome to everyone who’s joining us on the Internet.
The world of illusion (we talk a lot about it) is really nothing more than a misperception—a false perception of Reality. Because of that, you will find that the so-called rules of Reality are reflected in the illusion, although a hundred and eighty degrees out of sync.
That will give you something interesting to contemplate.
I bring it up because the special relationship is the subject we’ve been discussing. And the special relationship is a relationship in which those participating are no longer conscious of who they truly Are, and are relating to each other on the basis of who they have defined themselves to be, as a result of their intent to be the authority of their existence. And they came to this place … this way of being as a result of saying, “Father, I’d rather do it my way! I’m getting a divorce!” …asserting themselves as independent agents.
Now, what you need to understand is, that just as in Reality, no one does anything alone. So in the illusion, so in the dream, no one ever does anything alone.
So this so-called divorce from the Father that we’ve been talking about isn’t something that one sole individuality engaged in all by himself. That is not to say, that some—as sole individualities—didn’t try it. It’s just that there truly is not one bit of illusion that can be constructed out of an individual act of will opposed to the Father.
So in order for the first “divorce” to take place, two divorces had to happen simultaneously. Two individuals—two Sons or Daughters of God—had to come together and say, “What if we didn’t look at things the way we’re looking at them now? What if we didn’t embrace and embody Reality as our Father sees it? What if we chose to look at things differently and give definitions ourselves?”
Wow … this is something significantly different. Because I’ll tell you, that the moment the two individuals agreed to this attempt to see things independently, something happened that could never happen when one individuality—all by himself—did it, there was a mutual agreement that occurred.
Now, what that means is, that immediately there were two who were validating each other. And at that point, misunderstanding, confusion, conflict and illusion could seem to be, because two agreed to an untruth and said, “This is the truth”—two validated each other in this state of mind. You see?
This is very important.
It’s important because it constitutes the initiation of a special relationship. However, the special relationship didn’t get the attention. What got the attention was the divorce. What got the attention was the fact that in choosing to get validation from each other instead of from their Source—the Father—they abandoned the Father.
And of course, that’s when the orphan frame of mind came up. That’s when eternal heavenly existence became life in an orphanage and so on and so forth. And all relationships were special, meaning different from the union with God that constitutes the relationship that is Real, that is whole and that is therefore, unified. In other words, without conflict, without confusion—with perfect harmony, infinitely.
I’m bringing this up because I’m wondering how many of you this past week have been feeling grief or sadness or fear, or a sense of worthlessness, or a feeling of hopelessness? And when the feeling occurred you knew why—you identified some aspect of your life with it. And how many of you thought this was yours and yours alone? And how many of you, because you “owned” your suffering—owned your dilemma—found it almost impossible to get out of it, found it almost impossible to not go into it deeper and deeper … to the point where you were almost immobilized?
Now, there are not a lot of individuals who appreciate what I’m about to say. What I’m about to say can be misunderstood and misconstrued and misused. But the fact is that when these things happen, none of them are yours.
Well, some people say, “Well, I am doing things wrong and I should feel guilty about them. And the only way I can correct them is to own them.”
But I need to point something out to you: You can’t have these feelings by yourself. You cannot have any experience all by yourself. This is part and parcel of the special relationship.
Now the simple fact is, and the interesting fact is, that if you knew who the other individual was who you were joining with in this feeling of sorrow or worthlessness or hopelessness or depression, if you were able to be face-to-face with them and talk to them and have them share what has generated their feeling, you would be able to look at them and say, “Why that’s silly. You don’t need to feel this way. This should not be controlling you the way it is because it’s not true. It’s not true about you. And you’re laboring under a false impression and you’re caught by a false impression.” You would say, “Man, if that was my problem, I wouldn’t have any problem at all.”
Well the fact is, that if the other person was able to be face-to-face with you, and have you tell them what was distressing you, they would look at you and say, “Why that’s silly. That shouldn’t be bothering you. There’s nothing about that that has the capacity to truly cause you grief. And you need to know that, so that you can let go of it and not feel guilty for letting go of it.” And you could each bring each other relief because you could see clearly how the others’ problem was nothing more than an illusion.
Now I’m telling you this because you don’t know who the other is that you’re joining with silently—unconsciously, at least unconscious of who they are and what the circumstances are that are bothering them. You’re not face-to-face with them, but you do need to begin to understand that these emotions, these mental states, are not mental states you can have all by yourself. And because you can’t have them all by yourself, they are as a fact, not yours. And if you could stand in the presence of the fear or the anxiety or the grief or the sadness and have the “Ah-ha” in your mind that says, “Wait a minute, although I can seem to justify this feeling totally based on things in my experience, I can’t be having this feeling all by myself. An invitation has been extended to me, by someone feeling the same thing, to join with them in confirmation of it. And if I had known that was happening I would have rejected it and I wouldn’t be seeming to suffer from it as though it’s mine and mine alone right now.” You see?
The special relationship is a relationship in which you and the other one in the relationship gain validation—acknowledgement of worth, acknowledgement of presence, of existence. And because of the nature of a special relationship, an existence that is indeed, independent.
This is why special relationships are deleterious and dangerous to one’s mental health, you might say. Because they validate an illusion and it’s only in the presence of that on-going validation that the illusion can seem to persist and hurt. And the relationships are not always face-to-face.
Understanding that will help you to release yourself from moods and emotions that present themselves to you without a trigger, but which, after you find yourself feeling them, you can identify with circumstances, situations and mindsets in your experience. You see?
And so you say, “Oh-h yeah, yeah, I really don’t have much reason to hope, nothing’s going right for me … nothing’s going right for me,” even though three hours ago everything was going fine. But there are things there that weren’t bothering you that suddenly now are bothering you because they’re connected to this feeling of depression or worthlessness or hopelessness, or whatever.
You need to be free of being subject to mood-swings, mood-shifts and emotions that hook you like a drug—catch you and hold you, and cause you to confirm them and make them worse. It’s not your Birthright. It’s not a capacity God has given you to feel something all by yourself. And certainly, if you thought for a moment that the feelings you were having were imposed upon you by someone else feeling sorry for themselves and looking for confirmation or validation of their point of view, why you would feel that your space had been invaded inappropriately and you wouldn’t agree.
Now, I’m telling you so that you can recognize after the fact that such a thing has happened and you can withdraw your agreement. And you can step out of that very negative aspect of special relationships and begin your release.
Now we ended up last week talking about the fact that no one likes themselves—proof being that everyone’s trying to improve themselves. Not only that, they’re trying to improve themselves at the expense of others, because there’s no peace within one’s self. You don’t like yourself and that constitutes an attack on yourself, we’ll put it that way.
And as we go into the Book, we hear the question:
How can you grant unlimited power to what you think you have attacked?
How can you grant unlimited power, I’m going to say, to what you think doesn’t deserve unlimited power for whatever reason? You can’t. And yet, here in your orphan state of mind, your whole life is devoted to gaining credibility, gaining worth, gaining power, gaining presence, gaining acknowledged presence and power and respect. Because of course, that’s the purpose of the special relationship. It is supposed to be a substitute for the indivisible unity of the Father with the Son or the Son with the Father that constitutes by being (I mean that as a verb) by being a demonstration of validity so that existence itself is the experience of validation in which there is no question, no doubt.
So fearful has the truth become to you …
… What does that mean—the truth? “Oh-h … the truth has become fearful to me?” No, not the truth “out there” … the truth about you—the truth that you are the Son or Daughter of God right now and never were anything else. That truth has become fearful to you. Why? Because if you let it in, it’s going to uncover the fact that you are not the self you made up. You’re far more than that. And there’s no further need for you to demonstrate and prove your validity. And your purpose for being is no longer needed, you see … in that perverted sense, because your worth is utterly clear to you, inviolably clear to you, purely clear to you. You see?
So fearful has the truth become to you that UNLESS it is weak and little, you would not dare to look upon it. You think it safer to endow the little self which you have made with power you [have] WRESTED from truth…
… taken away from, grabbed from truth. You took God’s Power away from Him in His Fatherhood by getting a divorce and saying, “I’m an orphan!” You see? And you took the validity of you that you have and Are because you’re the Father’s Son, you took that and claimed it as your own as though you were the author of it, except you couldn’t do that all by yourself. So you brought a buddy along … a buddy who would agree with you on that, as long as you agreed with him or her on that same point for them. You see?
So you wrested—you grabbed—the truth about you from the Father. And you claimed yourself as the author of it and you got your buddy to agree with you on it. And the illusion commenced—the delusion commenced.
You think it safer to endow the little self which you have made with power you WRESTED from truth, triumphing over it …
… triumphing over the Father—your Source …
… and leaving it helpless.
In other words, leaving the Father without a Son. Thus making the Father no longer a Father. You see? Making Him helpless, making Him pointless, making Him something without reason for being, as though it could happen.
See how EXACTLY is this ritual …
… of separation, this ritual of divorce, this ritual of making one’s self valid at the expense of something else.
See how EXACTLY is this ritual enacted in the special relationship.
Now see, getting the divorce from the Father was not a ritual but it was an act, which becomes the mode of being as any orphan mindset. And so that act of divorce, that act of taking validity from something else becomes a ritual—an act done over and over again with all of the other orphans who have joined the crowd in agreement to be divorced—and confirm each others’ ability to each other, and being satisfied with that as the evidence or proof of truth. You see?
An altar is erected in between two separate people on which each seeks to kill his self…
… sacrifice himself … sacrifice himself for his Brother. He sacrifices his awareness of who he Is as the Son of God so that he can join with his Brother and help his Brother get his divorce from the Father, and shift his allegiance from his real Source, which truly validates him, in order to join with the other Brother who he seeks validation from now. And so, each sacrifices his Reality for the sake of creating a dream—a misunderstanding, a delusion with a Brother. You see?
An altar is erected in between two separate people on which each seeks to kill his self, and on his body raise another self which takes its power from his death.
These aren’t fun words, are they? Okay, so …
An altar is erected in between two separate people on which each seeks to kill his self…
… see? He doesn’t seek to kill the other …
… each seeks to kill his self.
Now we have to step back for a moment …
When the divorce was gotten from the Father, when one Son or Daughter of God … or two … decided to see things their own way and to abandon the Father’s Perspective and thereby the Father’s Will, something happened: A shift occurred in which the experience of Being, infinitely speaking, including and involving all of Creation as an experience of Mind, as an infinite Mindful experience, was lost. And where, up until that moment, all of Creation and every single one of the Sons and Daughters of God and their thoughts and ideas and their experiences were intimately available to everyone simultaneously as an infinite conscious experience and no one was specifically identifying with any particular visibility and tangibility of the Movement of Creation, whether it looked like a tree or a spider or a cockroach or a butterfly or a leaf, suddenly the infinite “You” was lost. And everyone found themselves identified with that which specifically renders them visible and tangible, meaning the body.
Before this, all of Creation was the infinite body of the Sons and Daughters of God because it’s the infinite Presence of the Father, whom it is the Sons’ and Daughters’ function to recognize and acknowledge and identify and be inseparable from. That was lost.
And suddenly everyone found themselves not only to be powerless and experiencing fear and guilt, but they were experiencing as though they were a body having experiences of fear and guilt.
An altar is erected in between two separate people on which each seeks to kill his self…
… sacrifice himself …
… and on his body …
… which he now feels is him …
… raise another self which takes its power from his death.
In other words, the orphan gets its power from the death of the Son of God that he truly Is. Crazy!
Over and over and over this ritual is enacted.
In other words, over and over you sacrifice yourselves for each other. You sacrifice yourself for acknowledgment. You sacrifice yourself for confirmation of validity, because it’s in this way that you feel you will become complete—an independent, autonomous, individuality in your own right.
Over and over and over this ritual is enacted. And it is NEVER completed, nor ever WILL be completed. For the ritual [repeats] the ritual of completion CANNOT complete…
… you see? Right now and forever you are the Sons and Daughters of God. You are complete. No act leading to completion can bring about a completion, because here’s the secret: In order to engage in acts of completion you have to be complete already. In other words, there has to be a real Son or Daughter of God complete and whole and unaltered from what the Father is Being right there where he or she is. There has to be That in order for a misunderstanding or delusion to be present that makes it seem reasonable for that one to attempt to complete himself or herself. You see that?
Every act of completion or improvement that you engage in is a demonstration of the fact that you are, before anything you do, complete.
And therefore, if you will consider abandoning the acts of completion and become still: Do the two-step (shut up). First step, become still and second step, reach outside yourself, “Father, what is the truth here? Holy Spirit, what do I, in my ever-present completeness, already know?” And then be determined with utter peace not to abandon the desire to know that until the revealing has occurred.
That’s how you get out of the special relationship and that’s how you get out of the hell of the orphan mindset.
For the ritual of completion CANNOT complete, and life arises not from death, nor Heaven from hell.
Whenever any form of special relationship tempts you to seek for love in ritual…
… remember love is CONTENT, and not form of ANY kind.
Love is you being spontaneously utterly appropriate in any given moment, because you’re not being distracted from what Love is and what fulfillment is constituted of. You’re not distracted from that, with attempts to improve yourself or leverage your good, and so on. It’s never a repetitive act—a rit-u-al. You see?
But how many acts of love do you engage in, whether they’re physical, mental, verbal, as you go through the day?
How often are you dishonestly sweet?
How often are you dishonestly kind?
And what I mean by that is, not lying per say, but using inflections of your voice that are patterns—voice patterns that you repeat often—like what’s called a “telephone voice.” You see?
How many people do you know who pick up the phone and talk in an entirely different way than they were talking with you a moment before they picked up the phone because they have a “telephone presence” and a way of behaving and speaking over the phone with a lilt in the voice and a sweetness … you see … or whatever it might be?
They’re dishonestly sweet. You see? Because they’re not in touch with the moment, they’re not in touch with who they’re communicating with. They’re not feeling whatever the needs might be. And as the presence of Love they are failing, because they’re engaged in this ritual of speech—ritual of behavior.
… remember love is CONTENT, and not form of ANY kind. The special relationship is a RITUAL of form, aimed at the raising of the form to take the place of God at the EXPENSE of content.
And so, here’s the Son or Daughter of God who has lost the infinite view, who is no longer aware that they are Mind in which all experiences of Reality are occurring, and they think they are a small part in the middle of an infinite universe of different-ness—of that which is not them.
And all of the behavior is a stylized ritual of connecting that you can see has to be utterly meaningless because there is no content to it. It’s just behavioral habits—physical habits combined with verbal habits combined with facial expressions—all brought together skillfully for a calculated effect, an effect which it is calculated, will improve one’s presence so that the other can confirm the better aspect of credibility that you’ve managed to bring forth, thus confirming that you’re one step closer to being a valid entity, as valid as you were before you got your divorce from the Father.
There IS no meaning in the form, and there will never be.
The visibility and tangibility of Mind of God, called Creation is not what’s important. It’s the Mind which gives rise to Creation that matters. You see? But once one got the divorce, the form became important. The form became the governing factor.
There IS no meaning in the form, and there will never be …
… and there will never be.
The special relationship must be recognized for what it is; a senseless ritual…
… ritual, in which strength is extracted from the death of God, and invested in His …
… God’s …
… killer as the sign that form has triumphed over content, and love has lost its meaning.
Now that’s the simple fact. That’s what’s happened. And that’s what needs to be reversed and that the reversal is what it’s your Birthright to be experiencing. Which is why we’re talking about it. And why we’re talking about it at such length and in such depth.
Would you WANT this to be possible, even apart from its evident impossibility? For if it WERE possible, you would have made YOURSELF helpless.
And in fact, if it were possible, you would have become lost in meaninglessness—irrevocably insane. But it’s not possible.
Now what’s important is what comes next. After all, if this is what you’ve chosen to do, you could assume, and in fact everyone does to one degree or another, assumes that this will make God angry and that there is punishment awaiting you. And that’s why there is this partnership between fear and guilt, which are inseparable from the artificial experience of isolation as an independent autonomous entity. You see? But…
God is not angry.
God is not angry.
And I’m going to say, not only is He not angry …
He merely could not let this happen.
And I will add: And therefore, it has not happened, even though you are convinced it has. It has not happened!
You CANNOT change His Mind.
You might be able to change your mind, or believe that you have changed your mind. You might believe that you’ve succeeded, because of course, you have your partner, or maybe now many partners who are all working together with you as you work together with them to confirm each other’s independent, autonomous existence in each one’s own right. You see? You’re all busily engaged in that activity.
But you know what? We could say that its time has passed, its become a rather compulsive arrangement you have with each other because the fear which you thought you had overcome has not gone away and this is cause for concern. And so you actually grab for acknowledgment from your Brother. You actually coerce him or her to witness on your behalf with more fervency, more vigor. And it’s a little more harsh than it used to be. And it’s all in an attempt to do something that was done in the beginning and your ignoring of that fact has not altered its actuality in any way. And you’re suffering from stressful energy that you’re exerting unnecessarily. And you’re forgetting that your function is Love.
Your function is not to manipulate each other. It is to be so present with each other that you feel that which identifies fulfillment and thus behave in a way that is supportive of and identifies fulfillment and glorifies God right there—right there where an orphan thought he was.
No rituals …
… no acts of independence …
… that you have set up, in which the dance of death delights you, can bring death to the eternal.
It can’t alter God. But more important, it can’t alter You. It can’t alter You, the Son of God, the Christ that you Are, the perfect One made inviolable by That which is inviolable and which therefore, cannot have been violated or altered and therefore never has.
Again, you are neither behind the point of perfection nor advancing towards it, you are at that point and you must understand yourself therefrom.
Nor can your chosen substitute for the Wholeness of God …
… what’s your chosen substitute? It’s two things: It’s you becoming a totally independent successfully autonomous individuality in your own right. That’s one of your chosen substitutes for the wholeness of God. And the other chosen substitute you have for It is, your indispensable Brother, who is going to confirm and thereby prove your autonomous successful independent state.
You want to know why your Brother is your savior? Do you want to know why you are your Brother’s savior? It’s not because you have the capability of confirming his independence—his actual independence—it’s because you have the capacity to withdraw from the special relationship. You have the capacity to abandon the mutual agreement and by not strengthening it, weakening it. And by weakening it, contributing to the dissolving of the illusions that have been built upon it. It’s that simple.
No rituals that you have set up, in which the dance of death delights you, can bring death to the eternal. Nor can your chosen substitute for the Wholeness of God have any influence at all upon It. See in the special relationship nothing more than a meaningless attempt to raise other gods before Him…
… meaning God …
… and by worshipping them, to obscure THEIR tininess and His [God’s] GREATNESS. In the name of your completion, you do not WANT this.
In the name of your wholeness, in the name of your sanity…
… you do not WANT this. For every idol which you raise to place before Him [God] stands before YOU, in place of what you ARE.
And that keeps you unconscious of what you Are. And it keeps your Brother unconscious of what he Is, to whatever degree you are interacting with him and confirming the illusion to him.
… you do not WANT this.
What’s the answer? The two-step! Hesitate! Stop dead in your tracks! Shut your mind up and ask, “What’s the truth here, Father?” ask, “Holy Spirit, what is my true perspective? As the Father’s beloved Son, as the Father’s beloved Daughter, what is my true perspective about everything that confronts me? And if in fact I am Mind in which the experience of body is occurring, rather than a body in which a brain that supposedly thinks is occurring, then reveal to me that experience. Help me shift back into my sanity.” And let this be present all day long, everyday during the week so that you bring this, not willful or coercive, but gentle determination to see more than you’re presently seeing, because you’re truly curious.
I love you all. The truth is freeing. The truth shall set you free. The truth that you’re afraid of will set you free rather than incarcerate you, because it will uncover to you your real Mind and the real conscious experience of Being. That’s the promise.
And I look forward to being with you next week.