Jun 12, 2010
T16.5 Specialness and Guilt
Good evening. And welcome to everyone who’s joining us on the Internet.
Again, this week I’m going to start off a sentence or three before where we ended when we last read from the Text:
On this side of the bridge to timelessness you understand nothing. But as you step lightly across it, upheld BY timelessness, you are directed straight to the Heart of God. At Its center, and ONLY there, you are safe forever, because you are COMPLETE forever. There is no veil the Love of God in us together cannot lift. The way to truth is open. Follow it with me.1
So we’ve just talked about the holy instant. We’ve just talked about the two-step. As you step lightly across the bridge to timelessness, you are directed straight to the Heart of God.
That’s another way of saying that when you choose to become still, to abandon the great value you place on your capacity to think and reason and come to excellent conclusions and you are willing to abide in the stillness, the Presence of God in your mind as your Mind, can begin to register with you. That is what the words mean that say:
… you are directed straight to the Heart of God.
In the silence there is nothing left for you to experience but the Heart of God. There is nothing left for you to experience but your right Mind. There is nothing else for you to experience but the Father’s Perspective.
And I’ll take this moment here to suggest to you that when you ask, “God, “What is the truth here?” or “Father, what is the truth here?” and then you be still and listen, I’m going to suggest that you also, from time to time, to say, “Mother, what is your Perspective here?” —Father/Mother/God—because you have a bias.
If you say, “Father, what is the truth here? What is the truth about my fellowman? What is the truth about what is needed here?” you have certain expectations as to what the answer will be that are different from the expectations you would have if you said, “Mother (with a capital ‘M,’ meaning God) what is Your Perspective? What is the truth here? What do I need to know about my fellowman?”
It will be a good thing to engage in this practice because God is God, neither Mother nor Father, but embracing all, including all, embodying all that the words, “Father” and “Mother” mean. Your Father is tender. Your Father is gentle. Your Mother is firm. Your Mother is unyielding when it comes to sticking with the truth. Your Father is principled. Your Father is direct. Your Mother is sweet. Your Father is sweet. So when you ask of God, “What is the truth here?” be sure that you are letting all that God Is, “Father and Mother” enrich your answers because you’re not holding the answers to a masculine or a feminine only character.
This will broaden your experience of what God Is and it will broaden your experience of what you Are.
At Its center…
the Heart of God …
and ONLY there, you are safe forever, because you are COMPLETE forever.
And we talked at some length last week about completeness relative to wholeness, relative to healing. And the fact that wholeness—meaning total functionality, total perfection—embodied is your Birthright. And not to be experiencing It is, for lack of better words, a matter of laziness on your part because you’re not objecting and you’re not taking hold of the truth about You, you’re not taking hold of completeness and expecting to see It, because completeness is the fact.
But what gets in the way of the experience of completeness? That’s what’s covered in this next section. If you are going to choose for completion, you are going to stop choosing for what? . . the special relationship. And what is the special relationship?
Okay. The special relationship is: Any relationship you have with anything when God is not part of the perspective you are experiencing that relationship with. Most everyone tends to think that a special relationship is something you have with a Brother or a Sister. But it’s not true.
A special relationship, again, is: Any relationship you have with anything without the Father’s Perspective being any part of your awareness of that relationship, which means, whether it’s a table or a flower or a fingernail or a chair. If you’re not seeing it with the Father’s Perspective, you’re seeing it with a private perspective that you have developed, that you have grown or that others have developed and grown and taught you about. And it’s a relationship with a definition you have, rather than a relationship with something that you are experiencing through your Father’s Eyes, which is another way of saying, experiencing it through the Holy Spirit—which is nothing more than your right Mind, but is the Father’s Perspective, your true Birthright held in trust while you dally with being independent.
Therefore, again, a special relationship is a relationship with anything that you’re engaging in with total independence all by yourself on your own. And which therefore, constitutes an unreal or distorted experience because you’re not looking at it and experiencing it through your sanity, through the Presence of your Father’s Mind which is your Mind by virtue of your being your Father’s Son, your Father’s Daughter.
In looking at the special relationship, it is necessary first to realize that it involves a great amount of pain.
Well, you don’t want to do that. You’d rather gloss it over and make the best of all of your relationships that you’re having without God being in the picture and without God’s Perspective being yours in any way. I mean, you can manage to have a fairly decent relationship, you can manage to have a fairly decent social interaction—social life. Why look at the fact that it involves a great amount of pain even though it’s not really that happy an experience?
Nevertheless, in looking at the special relationship, which you have to do in order to make a choice, you have to look at what you’re making a choice between.
… it is necessary first to realize that it involves a great amount of pain. Anxiety, despair, guilt and attack all enter into it, broken into by periods in which they SEEM to be gone.
Anxiety, despair, guilt and attack …
We’ve already talked at length about the fact that when you got your divorce from the Father and you said, “I’d rather see things my way,” you suddenly discovered that your infinite perspective was gone and you were tiny—not infinite anymore because you had, in effect, denied that which is infinite about you … “I’d rather do it my way … my way … my way … my way! And your way is little. It is not infinite.
And immediately when you did that, when you made that decision and you tried to embody it—implement it—two things came into play: The experience of fear and the experience of guilt. They’re inseparable, they go hand in hand and they go hand in hand with a decision anyone makes to look at things their own way—to deny the Father’s Perspective, which is their Perspective. Because in spite of their attempt to be independent, in spite of their attempt to be an orphan, they are not orphans. They’re still the direct expression—the full expression—of God.
Anxiety, despair, guilt and attack [all] enter into it, broken into by periods in which they SEEM to be gone.
You get a little bit of peace. And there’s a reason you get a little bit of peace. We’ll talk about it in a minute.
All these must be understood for what they are.
Anxiety, despair, guilt and attack. What are they? They’re the spontaneous and unavoidable effects of claiming to be an independent agent and insisting upon giving your full attention only to what you are choosing to think and reason about and come to conclusions about.
They are the effect of total selfishness.
Whatever form they take, they are always an attack on the self to make the OTHER guilty.
Mind you, anxiety is uncomfortable, despair is uncomfortable, guilt is uncomfortable and being the recipient of attack is uncomfortable and engaging in attack is uncomfortable—uncomfortable for you!
That which makes you uncomfortable can easily and correctly be identified as attack. So …
Whatever form they take, they are always an attack on …
… who? The one that’s uncomfortable. Who’s uncomfortable? You’re uncomfortable! Why are you uncomfortable? Because you said, “Father, I’d rather pretend I don’t have a Father. Father, I would rather commit my Mind to a biased and partial awareness in which You are not present and I am all that is.”
Since the discomfort is a result of that act on your part of independence and you really don’t want to take credit for it, you use it to make others guilty. You say, “I live in a conflicted world. I live in a world that isn’t safe. I live in a world where everything is polarized and expresses good and bad, positive and negative and the conflict between these positives and negatives are making me miserable.” “The devil made me do it!” “I’m uncomfortable because my Brother mistreated me.” “I’m uncomfortable because I’m the victim of an unfair situation or circumstance.”
So, the despair, guilt, attack and anxiety that one experiences by virtue of an inner decision to act as though one is an orphan when he isn’t, becomes the justification for blaming another for one’s discomfort. That is not intelligent. That is insane.
We have spoken of this before, but there are some aspects of what is really being attempted that we have not touched upon.
Very simply, the attempt to make guilty is ALWAYS directed against …
… what do you think? Your Brother? The circumstances? The polarized world? You? for having made a decision to pretend you’re an independent, self-authorized agent? No …
… God. For the ego would have you see Him, and Him ALONE, as guilty, leaving the Sonship open to attack, and unprotected from it.
So now, the anxiety, the despair, the guilt and the attack are God’s fault. You’re experiencing them because God has left you unprotected. God is guilty of not loving you, of not being Love, of not being trustworthy, of not being something you can dare to lean into and yield into with confidence.
The special love relationship is the ego’s chief weapon …
or we could say, the special love relationship is the orphan’s chief weapon …
for keeping you from Heaven. It does not APPEAR to be a weapon…
the special love relationship …
but it you consider HOW you value it and WHY, you will realize what it must be.
Well, we’ve just described it. It is a means of substituting an unreal relationship for your relationship with your Father, which keeps you stuck in a state of orphanhood that is not true about you and causes you to distrust God, Who you no longer recognize as your Father, but simply a “Supreme Being,” superior over everything, Who may or may not be kind, Who may or may not save you. And this keeps you from entrusting yourself to your Father.
The special love relationship is the ego’s chief weapon for keeping you from Heaven…
… for keeping you away from your Father, from keeping you away from your unchallenged and unchallengeable awareness of your holiness right here and right now that would allow you to lay down your defenses and let your completeness in and let it register with you, and let it be what gets shared with everyone and everything, thus changing special relationships to holy relationships.
The special love relationship is the ego’s most boasted gift, and one which has the most appeal to those unwilling to relinquish guilt.
You’re ready to relinquish guilt—guilt trips that others are laying on you—but you’re not really willing to relinquish laying guilt trips on others. You value guilt because guilt is a wonderful tool for control.
And so, everyone to one degree or another, learns how to use guilt effectively to accomplish things that serve him whether it’s to another’s disadvantage or not.
The “dynamics” of the ego are clearest here, for counting on the attraction of this offering, the fantasies which center around it are often quite open.
In other words, they’re blatant. They’re clearly loveless. But it’s okay.
Here they are usually judged to be acceptable, and even natural.
So when you get a group of orphans together, all of whom love to use guilt as tool for control, it seems quite normal for it to be going on. It can be hidden in jovial bantering or it can be forthright in an argument. But, hey, ya know, you might say, “This is what guys do.” You could also say, “This is what women do.” So it’s considered normal. It’s not called into question. And no choice is made for completion. You see?
No one considers it bizarre to love and hate together, and even those who believe that hate is sin merely feel guilty, and do not correct it.
You see, guilt is really a rather effective way to pay for doing something unintelligent and insane without having to stop, without having to change, without having to make a choice, in other words.
Love and hate are both aspects of the special love relationship.
Yes, it could be called a special hate relationship. But that is not what the ego boasts of. It boasts of the special love relationship. And like in a hidden clause—in the concept of special love relationship—it includes a special hate relationship, which allows the two to be used together with greater power and greater effect than just the use of guilt. Guilt can be used to coerce anyone into almost anything. But if love that isn’t truly love, love that is not what one feels about one’s Brother or about some part of Creation because one is enjoying the Father’s Perspective on His own Creation that’s real Love, but when love is a pattern of behavior that is planned for certain effect and it is constituted of what one knows others will like and it is used in conjunction with guilt, now you have a two-pronged tool, you might say, for control. “You stroke my back, I’ll stroke yours. You don’t stroke my back and boy, all hell will break loose on you.”
Now you don’t lay it out that honestly to your Brother and Sister. But you behave in a “loving way” doing all the right things to create pleasure in your Brother or Sister. And your Brother or Sister enjoys the attention, what you might call the affection, and feels safe with you and willing to trust you. But then if they do something you don’t like, you attack them. And you attack them by making them feel guilty.
Now when you make them feel guilty, they don’t get any of your love—something that is important to them. They feel that whatever kind attention they receive is significant, because, since they are an orphan and do not have the experience of their Father/Mother’s love, any kind attention is significant, meaningful, especially since it makes them feel safe in this world that they perceive as polarized because they have decided to relate to it without employing the Father’s Perspective themselves.
So, love and hate are two parts of the special love relationship. The special love relationship again, being: Any relationship you have with anything that doesn’t involve the Father’s Perspective.
No one considers it bizarre to love and hate together, and even those who believe that hate is sin merely feel guilty, and do not correct it.
This IS the “natural” condition of the separation…
… of the human condition—meaning the state of being that is unjoined with the Father—where it’s possible for you to think you’re just the effect of the joining of a couple of blobs of matter called a sperm and an egg … pure chance … no God … no order … no … as they put it, “Intelligent design.”
This IS the “natural” condition of the separation, and those who learn that it is not natural at all seem to be the UNNATURAL ones.
Don’t you all at times feel that you’re considered unnatural because of your point of view?
For this world IS the opposite of Heaven, being MADE to be its opposite, and everything here takes a direction exactly opposite of what is true.
Mind you, this statement is not a statement of truth where it says, “For this world IS the opposite of Heaven.” This world is the visibility and tangibility of, for lack of better words, the Mind of God. It is the Kingdom of Heaven and nothing else. But …
this world IS the opposite of Heaven, being MADE to be its opposite…
what does that mean? It means that when you abandoned your relationship with your Father, when you said, “Father, I’d rather see things my way,” you saw the world in a way foreign to the Father’s Perspective. You made the world into something else. And it couldn’t possibly be like Heaven because if it was like Heaven, you would experience it as Heaven and you would find you hadn’t succeeded in getting your divorce from your Father—you hadn’t managed to become independent.
And so in order for you to actually feel that you’re different—that you are independent—you must have changed the meanings of the world into something different from Heaven. So …
this world IS the opposite of Heaven, being MADE to be its opposite, and everything here takes a direction exactly opposite of what is true.
You behave in the world in a way inconsistent with it being the Kingdom of Heaven. And you use it for purposes that are completely opposite to what it is as the Kingdom of Heaven. And that is why anxiety, despair, guilt and attack accompany you. And this is why you have something to choose between when you’re choosing for completion, for wholeness, for healing, for the visible, tangible embodiment of the perfection of the Father’s Mind and of every exquisite idea in your Father’s Mind, which includes the exquisite idea that you Are.
in other words, right here … right where you are with everything that’s here.
In Heaven, where the meaning of love is known, love is the same as UNION.
You see? Special relationships are the opposite of union. Special relationships are relationships between disconnected entities, disconnected from each other and disconnected from a Source beyond the confines of the independent agent—the orphan. And so union is impossible. Approximations of union—a hug, intercourse, a kiss, a caress—make one feel as though union is present, but it’s just an approximation of union.
It’s like kids: they make a cut on their finger and they press their fingers together and they think, co-mingle their blood and become blood brothers. You see? Not real brothers but blood brothers.
Well, egos attempt to be family, but it can’t be consummated, it can’t be actually embodied. But family is what everything already Is. Family is what everyone already Is because there are no orphans and there are no Creations of God, no holy Sons and Daughters of God who are different or separate from their Father—period, ever!
meaning in this world that’s the opposite of Heaven.
Here, where the illusion of love is accepted in love’s place, love is perceived as separation and EXCLUSION.
It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego’s hatred triumphs. For the special relationship is the RENUNCIATION of the love of God, and the attempt to secure for the self the specialness which He …
You see? The holy Son of God says, “Father, I’d rather see things my way. I don’t accept anymore the way You see things.” And immediately, he finds himself feeling fear and guilt. What’s the rest of it? . . anxiety, despair, guilt and attack … miserable. And then, totally ignoring that the experience is caused by a decision the holy Son of God made, the holy Son of God now experiencing himself as an orphan says, “God hates me.”
Now, there probably isn’t any one of you right now, at least if you’re in a fairly good frame of mind, who would consider thinking that God hates you … “I don’t think God hates me, no.”
But let me ask you this: Do you think you could dare to expect total healing from a terminal illness or an injury for no good reason [snaps fingers] right now? . . just because … just because it’s your Birthright and there is—because of your Birthright—absolutely no justification for you to be experiencing the injury or the illness any longer? If you don’t think that that’s your Birthright to be experiencing [snaps fingers] at this moment, then you have renounced the love of God. You are denying the Father’s Love.
It is essential to the preservation of the ego …
I’m going to back up.
For the special relationship is the RENUNCIATION of the love of God, and the attempt to secure for the self the specialness which He …
Again, you wouldn’t say He denied you your good, but you will say you have no justification for expecting unequivocally that you can be healed at this moment because God is your Source, the center and circumference, the primitive and the ultimate of You.
It is essential to the preservation of the ego that you believe this specialness is not hell, but Heaven.
Hey, if you think that you can find a way to behave with your Brothers and Sisters so that great harmony is brought forth without your experiencing the Father’s Perspective, in other words, without your being sane, then what you’re experiencing is hell … it is insanity … very simply.
Here’s where logic can help you. Because the moment it becomes obvious to you that to not be able to expect to be healed instantaneously, and then not to be healed instantaneously, is the result of your insanity, and your insanity is constituted of your belief that you can be an independent agent with a perspective and view point all your own, you won’t be in a position to say [snaps fingers] “I want nothing to do with that perspective anymore! It is insane and I’m going to abandon it. And I’m going to abandon it by doing something very specific: I’m going to do the two-step. I’m going to practice the holy instant. I’m going to become still and I’m going to abandon my independence and say, ‘Father/Mother, what is the truth here?’ And I will not abandon that quest—that question. I will not abandon it until I’ve heard the answer, because that is when I will be experiencing my sanity.”
And I will tell you that when you’re experiencing your sanity you will also experience your healing.
It is essential to the preservation of the ego …
to the ongoingness of the orphan state …
that you believe this specialness is not hell, but Heaven. For the ego would never have you see that separation can ONLY be loss, being the one condition in which Heaven CANNOT be.
Heaven cannot be in the condition of loss. That’s why we’re talking about the choice for completion. That’s why we talked about the choice of completion last week and the week before. And it’s why we’re talking about specialness and guilt. Because a choice has to be made, a conscious choice has to be made, a choice wherein you come to the same conclusion that the practice of awareness, I’m going to say, that doesn’t bring into it God’s Perspective is a self-inflicted insanity that isn’t actual but might as well be, until you change your mind.
Only then will you be in a position to change your mind, to make the choice and begin to constantly bring the Father into your experience by saying, “Father, what is the truth here? What is the truth about what’s in front of me that I’ve seen everyday for thirty years and that I thought I knew the meaning of? What’s the Real meaning of it? Because I know that to me it doesn’t represent the Kingdom of Heaven. And yet I’m told and I believe that it is the Kingdom of Heaven and I want to experience It truly. Help me. I want to have the experience … the experience of Your Perspective. I will let You in. I am inviting You in. And I will leave the invitation actively open until I have the experience.”
You always do what you value. And if you’re not listening for the Father’s Perspective, it’s because you’re valuing something else. And what you’re valuing is your perspective. Start valuing and employing and magnifying your desire to know the truth—the Father’s truth … the Father’s Perspective.
You may not think that I’ve given you anything practical to do, or shared anything that you can use. But I will tell you, that I have knocked down some false idols in every single one of your perceptions. And you have been changed by what I have said. And the changes that have occurred will cause you to perceive everything in new ways, without your having to try to make those new ways happen.
And so I encourage you to enjoy this coming week with the changed perceptions that you’re going to be experiencing.
I love you all. And I look forward to being with your next week.
T16.5 Specialness and Guilt ↩︎