Mar 27, 2010
T16.4 Illusion and Reality of Love

Good evening. And welcome to everyone who’s joining us on the Internet.

Good evening you holy Sons and Daughters of God. It is the acknowledgement of your holiness, your willingness to embrace it that actively reconnects you with your Father and sets the scene for returning to your right Mind or, might I say, letting your right Mind be returned to you by virtue of your not holding yourself apart from It any longer.

We’ve talked about the fact that you travel with mighty companions, not the least of which is your Self—the Holy Spirit. Not only that, you are companioned with by all of your creations and they all wait for you on the other side of the bridge, as it were, that goes across the little gap between illusion and Reality. In fact, they are mighty enough that they constitute an attraction that will help bring you across the bridge once you have decided to bring the necessary amount of self-discipline and determination to cross it and follow through with commitment.

Now there’s a reason you’re not on the other side of the bridge right now. And in order to cross the bridge, you’re going to have to look squarely at it so that you may release it, because it is the energizing—the reinforcement of it—that has kept you ignorant of your Father and of your Self.

This something is called “The special hate relationship.”

I know we’ve been talking about the beautifulness of you as the holy Son or Daughter of God. And there’s a reason for it. Not only is it true of you, not only is it the truth about you, the knowledge of it is what gives you the impetus, as it were, to reach for it, to be willing to re-embrace it.

Now, there’s only one … there is only one special hate relationship. And you’re likely to be surprised at who it’s with. It’s with God. Strong words … special hate relationship with your Father? It’s not too strong a word.

When you decided you would rather see things your way, when you decided you would rather define what things are and you got a divorce from your Father, you stood in flat denial of His Place in your existence—the fact that He actually is the Source of your Being. You also separated yourself from your Birthright, which caused you, as we have discussed many times, to immediately experience fear and guilt.

Now, you took on the challenge that fear and guilt represented. You didn’t take it as your sanity telling you, you were in unreal territory, that you were doing something impossible to do … and to stop. And so fear and guilt became forever present with you as a part of existence.

Now, fear of what? What would the fear be about? There’s only one thing at this point that the fear could be about and that would be that you would be found out that you had denied your Father. That in fact, you were in a hate relationship with Him because you said, “I have nothing to do with Him. I want nothing to do with Him. I want nothing to do with whatever it is I might deserve in terms of inheritance from Him because I want to experience my independence.”

When you’re in denial of your Source, and subsequently in denial of who you Are because you lose the direct experience of who you Are and your divine Birthright, that is an act of hate. Self-denial is the most intense form of delusion and it has negative effects.

So, let’s go into the book. New section:

ILLUSION AND REALITY OF LOVE1

Be not afraid to look upon the special hate relationship…

Now this might seem to be an abrupt shift, after talking for awhile about the holy Son of God that you Are and the mighty companions and your creations and so on and so forth, and the availability you have of the holy instant to access your holiness, to access the direct experience of the Father and to come back into your right Mind. But this step is the next step once you decide to engage in the holy instant, once you decide to engage in reclaiming your divinity—this must be looked at.

Be not afraid to look upon the special hate relationship for freedom lies in looking at it.

If you don’t look at it, you won’t realize it’s there. You don’t go around thinking, “I hate God … I hate God!” But the fact that you won’t let God direct your paths on an ongoing daily basis in every instance, is a demonstration of the fact that you’re in an oppositional relationship. It’s that simple.

So, you’re unaware of it. You can’t possibly come Home as long as you’re unaware of it. Which is why we’ve been talking … and talking and talking about coming Home, and how to come Home, and the steps. And now we’ve come to this place where the step is to acknowledge that you Are a holy Son of God.

Well, this experience of dissonance caused by fear and guilt, cause you to not like yourself. So a secondary aspect of this special hate relationship, which is the only one there is with God, is that you end up hating yourself.

Once again you think, “Well, as a general rule, I don’t go around hating myself. As a general rule, the majority of my life I’ve liked myself. It’s only when I’ve been depressed that I haven’t liked myself.”

But let me ask you this: “Do you like yourself, you holy Son of God? Do you like yourself, you holy Daughter of God?”

“Oh-h, there ya go again, bringing that up! Well, I don’t mind embracing in my head the idea that I’m a holy Son of God, but no, I don’t want it to be public! I don’t want to claim it and live it and Be it!”

“… Oh, so you don’t like yourself, huh?”

That’s what that means. Don’t be afraid to look at it. If you don’t want to know of your holiness, then be aware of it. Because in being aware of it, instead of unconscious of it, you have a choice available to you. And so you are further ahead of the game.

It’s essential for you to know that you have a choice in order to cross the bridge, in order to Wake up, in order to come back into your right Mind.

Be not afraid to look upon the special hate relationship for freedom lies in looking at it. It would be impossible not to know the meaning of love, except for this. For the special love relationship, in which the meaning of love is LOST, is undertaken solely to offset the hate, but NOT to let it go.

You see?

“… Oh No, I’m not gonna let it go if it means I have to acknowledge that I’m holy—I’m a holy Son of God … I don’t want to let it go. No, I’m enjoying the intensity and the high I get from attempting to overcome the impossible and in some ways, fool myself into believing that I’m accomplishing it. No-no!”

But …

Your salvation will rise clearly before your open eyes as you look on this. You cannot LIMIT hate. The special love relationship will not offset it…

it can’t be changed, it can’t be limited, it can’t be minimized …

… but will merely drive it underground and out of sight. It is essential to bring it INTO sight, and to make no attempt to hide it. For it is the attempt to balance hate with love that MAKES love meaningless to you. The extent of the split that lies in this you do not realize. And UNTIL you do, the split will remain unrecognized, and therefore unhealed.

So, as you move across the bridge, this is the last thing to be healed—it’s the last thing to be healed because it’s the first unhealed act you engaged in. Your dissociation from the Father and from your conscious experience of your own holiness was your first act in stepping away from the conscious experience of Reality. The undoing of it therefore, is going to be the last thing you do as you return Home.

And so, although it might not seem a pleasant thing to do, especially when we’ve had such wonderful talks about your holiness, it nevertheless must be looked at clearly.

Now, what’s “a special love relationship?” Well, I’m going to put it this way: A special love relationship is a relationship that covers up a special hate relationship.

And what’s a special hate relationship … humanly speaking? It’s any relationship you have with a Brother or Sister where you haven’t engaged in the two-step, moved into the holy instant and desired to Know the holy truth about your Brother or Sister. And then having been infilled with it, relating to your Brother or Sister from the new vantage point revealed to you—a vantage point that is yours because you decided to join with the Father.

Now, as along as you are pretending to be an orphan, in an orphanage, having an orphan mindset, all of your relationships will be unconscious relationships. And what I mean by that is, that you will be having a relationship with someone Real, but you will be unconscious of who they really Are. Why? Because in the orphan mindset, your Brother or Sister is a means to an end, not a Brother or Sister. Not Family. Not someone sharing the same Birthright—the same holy Birthright as you.

Being a means to an end, all relationships are there to be used—to be used to your benefit. And I’m going to say, to be used to help you forget the hate you’re feeling for yourself.

Therefore, you will do anything … you will use your Brother or Sister in any way necessary to cover up the fact that you don’t like yourself.

Every act you engage in is an attempt to overcome the fact—temporary though it might be—the fact that you don’t like yourself, the fact that you don’t feel good about yourself. You will use your Brothers and Sisters to build yourself up into something worthwhile … you hope. That is your goal.

Now, what does that mean? It means that you’re seeing your Brother or Sister as an object, as I said, “a means to an end.” So you’re denying their holiness as well. And you know what? You miss connection with them, just as they miss connection with you because they’re seeing you as “a means to an end.”

And so, existence becomes a dance between people who are not connected with each other, who do the best they can to fool each other into believing that they’re confirming each other’s worth and integrity and value. And all the time that this is going on, not one of you have stopped to do the two-step so that you might ask of the Father, “What is the truth here about my Brother? Show me my Brother’s holiness.”

It is amazing that you all get along as well as you do because of the usury nature of relationships as you are practicing them.

If you don’t see … if you don’t dare to look at the fact that the way you are relating to each other as orphans, from an orphan mindset, is cruel and harsh and mean-spirited and destructive, you are not likely to have the impetus necessary to step on across the bridge … to reach for the mighty companions Who are with you, as well as all of your creations and the Father Who wish for you to come back into your sanity—your right Mind—where all relationships are holy relationships.

The symbols of hate against the symbols of love play out a conflict which does not exist.

Well, what does it mean “the symbols of hate and the symbols of love?”

Well, as orphans relating to each other as objects, you act in loving ways and you act in unloving ways.

Behaving lovingly is not being the Presence of Love.

And so all of your behavior constitutes symbols of love, mutually-agreed definitions about what love is and mutually-agreed definitions about what hate is—both of which are false because love is not love and love can be interpreted as hate.

In other words, if you have mutually-agreed-upon definitions of hate and someone comes along and confronts you with the truth—the real truth about yourself—and says, “You’re the holy Son of God, come join me in the conscious experience of your holiness.” … Oh-boy, that is an unkind thing.

The one who Knows the truth, standing with the Father, says, “You’re indulging in hate relationships, even your special love relationship is a cover-up for your special hate relationship.”

You say, “This can’t possibly be the truth. This is a lie. You are misleading me. You are hating me … because if I were to believe you, I would think I was insane!” And the one Who Knows the truth, gently says, “But you are insane, but you are not seeing things clearly and there is a clear way to see it and I will show you the clear way to see it.

But, no, this doesn’t add up with the mutually-agreed-upon definitions. And so it’s misinterpreted.

The symbols of hate against the symbols of love play out a conflict which does not exist.

It’s not happening in Reality. It’s only happening in minds misunderstanding.

The symbols of hate against the symbols of love play out a conflict which does not exist. For symbols stand for something ELSE, and the symbol of love is without meaning if love is everything. You will go through this last undoing …

… this undoing of looking at the special hate relationship and the special love relationship, to see that they’re both hateful so that it’s clear to you that there’s no value in holding onto them at all.

You will go through this last undoing quite unharmed, and will at last emerge as …

what?

… yourself.

You will come back into your right Mind. Your right Mind will come back into you, you might say. And there you, the real You will be.

Be not unwilling now, you are too near, and you will cross the bridge in perfect safety, translated quietly from war to peace. For the illusion of love will NEVER satisfy, but its reality, which awaits you on the other side, will give you everything.

Remember, I said the other side of the bridge is on the other end of your attention. So we’re not once again talking about going on an internal witch-hunt to find out all the awful things about yourself. But we are talking about taking an honest look so that you can clearly see that as long as you’re practicing special relationships, as long as you are engaging in them, nurturing them and reinforcing them, you are keeping yourself ignorant of who you Are. You are keeping yourself unconscious of the Kingdom of Heaven that you’re in the middle of, and you are bound to the trinity of sin, sickness and death.

If you’re looking at this squarely, you’ll see that it doesn’t make sense and that it is at least worthwhile for you to make a determination to cross the bridge.

Now, crossing the bridge is not a matter of growth. It’s not a process of becoming anything. Remember, you are neither behind the point of perfection nor advancing toward it. You are at that point and must understand yourself therefrom. That’s a journey without distance. But it’s a giving of your attention where it’s essential for it to be in order for you to be sane.

So as we read, don’t imagine that this is going to be a terrible amount of work, it’s going to take a long time. [snaps fingers] The holy instant … that’s it! Hesitate … stop dead in your tracks … abandon your conditioned responses. Be still and say, “Father, what is the truth here? Holy Spirit, what is the truth here? My Guide, what is the truth here?” And then listen for it … genuinely, sincerely be the presence of mind that has no other agenda than to have the truth register.

So we’re still talking about something simple. The reason you’re not on the other side of the bridge is because you still like being an orphan and you don’t see how awful it is, you don’t see how hateful it is, you don’t see how destructive it is. The destructiveness just seems to be a challenge for you to take on, with an assurance that comes from somewhere telling you that you can take it on and succeed—when it isn’t true.

Be not unwilling now, you are too near…

you really are too near …

and you will cross the bridge in perfect safety, translated quietly from war to peace.

You could say also, translated quietly from “getting” to “giving.”

For the illusion of love will NEVER satisfy, but its reality, which awaits you on the other side, will give you everything.

… on the other side, at the other end of your attention. That’s all. Don’t think so much in terms of space, “Well, is it a short bridge or is it a long bridge? How far is it to the other side?” No, it’s just to the other end of your attention.

The special love relationship is an attempt to limit the destructive effects of hate by finding a haven in the storm of guilt.

Um-m … dramatic words, but they’re just describing the state of being as an orphan, where guilt and fear go hand-in-hand, are ever-present and seem to be the impetus for expressions of will that have the securing of safety and success as their goal. Seems rather reasonable to you, doesn’t it? Sure, but it’s not. It’s a process that keeps you unconscious, because it never gets you outside the orphanage. It never even suggests that you look to the horizon.

The special love relationship is an attempt to limit the destructive effects of hate by finding a haven in the storm of guilt.

A soft, caressing, nurturing place, where both of you have found ways to provide each other with some form of encouragement that allows you to let down and not energize your fears so much. You’re together to get, and you demand of each other to give, “Give me more, give me more! I’m nervous, I’m upset … give me more! I’m afraid … comfort me!”

And then because the other provides some attention that you define as comforting, you set down some of your fear and experience more peace. And you fool yourself into believing that your lover has comforted you. And you fool your lover into believing that he or she has comforted you. And both of you are still in the mist of delusion and nothing has been accomplished except a temporary lull—a mutual process of fooling each other.

The special love relationship is an attempt to limit the destructive effects of hate by finding a haven in the storm of guilt.

And I’m going to add: Without making any attempts to leave it …

the storm of guilt. It makes no attempt to rise ABOVE the storm, into the sunlight.

I would say: It makes no attempt to walk out of the orphanage and onto the horizon and beyond the horizon.

On the contrary, it emphasizes guilt OUTSIDE the haven by attempting to build barricades against it, and keep within them.

“Um-m, you’re my salvation, you’re the one who gives me peace. You make me feel secure. I’m not going to look outside of you for my good and I’m not going to let you look outside of me for your good. We will imprison each other in the security of the caring that we’re willing to extend to each other in order to make us feel some measure of peace …”

Wow… get, get, get! No love… no love!

The special love relationship is not perceived as a value in itself, but as a place of safety from which hatred is split off, and kept apart.

Well, you know what? There may be a certain degree or level of comfort that two lovers can achieve, but if the trinity of sin, sickness and death prevails then no security, no safety has been achieved and the victory of love is a hollow victory.

And I’m telling you and have been telling you that your Birthright is more than that. I could say you deserve more than that, but it’s a matter of your Birthright, it’s a matter of Who you Are and the fact that as the holy Son of God or the holy Daughter of God you already are eternal. And it’s your Birthright to be experiencing that without the so-called threat—the imagined threat—of sin, sickness and death. That is no part of the conscious experience of your Birthright and it’s time for you to be finished with it.

The special love partner is acceptable only as long as he serves this purpose. Hatred can enter, and indeed is welcome in SOME aspects of the relationship, but it is still held together by the illusion of love.

Illusions holding each other together, or one illusion holding another illusion at bay, it’s still insanity. It’s still not your Birthright. It’s still not you in your whole Mind. It’s not the holy Son of God that you Are at this moment, even though you’re not experiencing it in its Totality. But you will not shift from the partial experience of it into its Totality if nobody points out to you where illusion is happening, where a special hate relationship is happening, where a special love relationship is happening that doesn’t constitute sanity at all.

If no one points it out to you, you won’t look elsewhere, you’ll just work within the already established parameters.

Hatred can enter, and indeed is welcome in SOME aspects of the relationship…

After all, a little bit of it invigorates the relationship, brings some life to it, gets you closer and after all, making up is so wonderful.

Hatred can enter, and indeed is welcome in SOME aspects of the relationship, but it is still held together by the illusion of love. If the illusion goes, the relationship is broken or becomes unsatisfying on the grounds of disillusionment.

Disillusionment simply means: That the illusions you were under have been shown for what they are—illusions.

Love is NOT an illusion. It is a fact. Where disillusionment is possible, there was not love but hate. For hate IS an illusion, and what can change was NEVER love. It is certain that those who select certain ones as partners in any aspect of living, and use them for any purpose which they would not share with others, are trying to LIVE with guilt rather than DIE of it.

You see? You use your special relationships to find ways to live comfortably in the uncomfortable state of guilt by providing a distraction from it. Um-m, we’ll say, a sweet distraction from it. But the sweet distraction is an illusion also. So you try …

… to LIVE with guilt rather than DIE of it.

Well, here’s the thing: If you didn’t have the sweet illusion to make you comfortable in the experience of guilt, you would be just simply faced with guilt. Guilt is unyielding. Guilt doesn’t give the benefit of the doubt. Guilt is harsh. Guilt is cruel. Guilt is mean. To live with it would be to die. But if you are willing to face it, you will realize, without the cover-up of the sweet special love relationship, you will see it for what it is and you will make a choice. You won’t die of it, because in the honest appraisal of what it truly is you will make a choice. [chucks] You will get across that bridge. You will find it justifiable to hesitate, become still, ask the Father or the Holy Spirit, “What is the truth here?,” and become undefended enough and uncontrolling enough to let yourself be filled from some place other than your best judgments.

This is the choice they see.

You know…

to LIVE with guilt rather than DIE of it.

And love, to them, is only an escape from death. They seek it desperately, but not in the peace in which it would gladly come quietly TO them.

They seek it desperately, but not in the peace in which it would gladly come quietly TO them.

You see? It’s the difference between getting and letting. It’s the difference between controlling and allowing.

And when they find the fear of death is still upon them, the love relationship LOSES the illusion that it is what it is not. For then the barricades against it are broken, fear rushes in and hatred triumphs.

“Oh, please … give me the sweetness of a special relationship to undo hatred’s triumph.” You see? And so you scramble again, instead of looking at it squarely and saying, “There has to be another way to look at this.” To have enough humility to shut up and ask for help from Something outside yourself. That’s the way you undo the divorce. That’s the way you start across the bridge … to where? . . the other end of your attention.

There are no triumphs of love. Only hate is concerned with the “triumph of love” at all. The illusion of love CAN triumph over the illusion of hate, but always at the price of making BOTH illusions.

Meaning that you’re still trapped, you’re still stuck. The trinity: sin, sickness and death still governs.

As long as the illusion of hatred lasts, so long will love be an illusion to you.

So …

… long as the illusion of hatred lasts…

well, remember now, your Brothers and Sisters didn’t cause the hatred you feel. No circumstances out there caused it. And not even a flaw in your character caused it. The illusion of hatred is being experienced for a simple reason. You’ve said, “Father, I want a divorce. Father, I’m going to ignore you. Father, I am disinheriting myself, not only of all the abundance that’s mine, but I’m disinheriting myself from my awareness of Who I really Am.” As long as that is in place, hatred lasts—the illusion of hatred lasts.

As long as the illusion of hatred lasts, so long will love be an illusion to you. And then the only choice which remains possible is which illusion you prefer.

Well, today you’ll prefer a little bit of hate, tomorrow you’ll prefer a little bit of love, and you play both sides of the fence depending upon what it will get for you in terms of securing a so-called safety and security from sin, sickness and death. That’s a security and safety you can’t ever actually have until you abandon the orphanage. Until you reclaim your holiness by saying, “Hey, you know what? Might not be so bad to be holy, especially if I already am. I am going to clearly look at the awfulness of hate and the awfulness of special love relationships and I’m going to be willing to look at the destructiveness of them and to see that there are no circumstances under which they can be construed as constructive and therefore my intelligence tells me that there’s no profit whatsoever in pursuing them or engaging with them or nurturing them any further. I will, with commitment and determination, cross the bridge.

There IS no conflict in the choice between truth and illusion.

And that’s a very important point. Don’t imagine that this is going to be a horrendous process.

There IS no conflict in the choice between truth and illusion. Seen in THESE terms, no one would hesitate. But conflict enters the instant the choice seems to be one between ILLUSIONS, for this choice does not matter.

Why doesn’t it matter? Because the choice has no effect—a choice of one illusion over another illusion is still illusion. Nothing is accomplished. No healing is accomplished. No return of sanity occurs. And it’s the futility of choosing between illusions, and the fact that you have been choosing between illusions that needs to become very clear in order for it to be utterly logical to you to see the wisdom of deciding for crossing the bridge.

Where one choice is as dangerous as the other, the decision MUST be one of despair.

Where one choice is as dangerous as the other, the decision MUST be one of despair.

Despair you’re already familiar with, because you’re already making choices between one that’s as dangerous as another. And you’re ready for more than that … you holy Son of God … you holy Daughter of God. You are ready for more than that.

This week, pay attention to how you’re behaving. Pay attention to whether you’re leveraging your Brother for this, that or the other thing. Maybe you’re just leveraging that one to feel better or happier because you really care as well as because you want to be important to that one—you want to get something out of it. Watch what kind of trips you lay on them, whether they’re guilt trips or trips of honor—bestowing honor on him or her, again, so that you can get something.

You know what? Stop looking for a messiah so that you might give your allegiance and follow him or her. After all, you don’t want to sidetrack someone from his or her divinity by trying to prove to them that they are a messiah that they’re not, so that you might do a couple of things: Maybe rub shoulders with that one and be seen as important or maybe get that one to do something for you, to lift you out of your problems without your having to build the bridge yourself. You see?

There are many ways to be unkind to your Brother. There are many ways to express hate. And even love is one of them. Not real Love, but special love.

Crossing the bridge is the point. Remember that. I love you all.

  1. T16.4 Illusion and Reality of Love ↩︎

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