Mar 6, 2005
Discussion

Good evening. And welcome to everyone who’s joining us on the Internet.

Well, everyone has had a good couple of weeks to practice hesitation instead of the two-step. I’m going to ask for you to share what the practice has brought up for you, because in a way it’s not an easy practice. So, I’ll just pass the mic around and if you wish to respond, fine; if not, then pass it on to the next person.1

Well, mostly I figured out how very little I ever actually hesitate. I would remember to hesitate after the moment passed when I could have actually done that. But I’m getting closer to … I mean I’m remembering sooner after I don’t hesitate than I did when I started. I’ve got to work on it. I still have my little stickers. That’s all I have to say.

[speaking to previous seeker] I expected you to go on longer. [laughing]

I actually forgot about it the past few days, and it would have been really good to remember it. But before that I did find that the hesitating … well, that the lack of hesitating is kind of always to defend something. And that in the hesitating, I found that what I would have defended didn’t really need defending. But then I forgot, and I got back into the habit of defending again, so. But then I got really tired and I realized that that kind of defense takes a lot of energy, so then it was easier to hesitate because I was tired.

For me, what seems to be going on, I think it’s been a year, not this last Christmas but the year before, where you told us to stop and actually acknowledge the clerks in stores, and that’s when I discovered, as Judy has talked about too, that you can have these wonderful blessed moments with strangers that you don’t have opinions about to start with, so that you have all this love available from perfect strangers. And you leave, they’re feeling good, you’re feeling good; it’s wonderful.

So this hesitation thing, it’s dawning on me the same thing can happen with the people I have opinions about. And yesterday I called my sister with whom I … well, actually someone I avoid, and had forty minutes of a wonderful conversation with this person who is on the Point of Perfection. I never really had seen her that way, as I recall. [small laugh]

So, yes, I want to do it more. It’s made a tremendous difference in the amount of defense that I usually live with.

Two things come to my mind.

One is I’ve noticed that I have an opinion about everybody. I don’t even have to know them. I just look at somebody and an opinion comes up. And I think because of the whole idea of recognizing that your salvation comes from being able to connect with the other and that the other is a teacher, what I found was that now the opinion comes up and immediately I ask the Holy Spirit for me to see things differently. And I don’t know what I’m expecting to see but the opinion coming up triggers that mantra, so to speak.

And then the other thing is, which I’ve just recognized, is there will be people who call me or come to yoga class, and then for some reason, and there’s every kind of excuse, I’ve heard a lot of different excuses as to why they can’t continue to come. And what I found is that what will come up for me is there will be something that I might be able to say that would be helpful for that person before they leave. And I’ve in the past said, “Well, they’re gone, so I’m not even going to waste my time with them.” And now I’m beginning to realize that it’s very important for me to make any constructive comment to them, because they’re never gone, and there’s never a separation, and that person is never disconnected from me, even whether they’re coming to class or not.

And so, that’s the next thing that I want to bring into my experience is to always recognize my connection with everyone, whether they’re a participant or not [a] participant in my life.

I’m afraid I haven’t remembered to hesitate until after the event.

Something I’ve noticed in the last few weeks while taking solitary walks, and even a trip I took to southern California and back, that I had to have it in the past if I’m in a solitary mode, if I come across … come up next to people, cross them on the street, or engage them in a store setting as I think someone said, that I tend to be a little resistant, but what I’ve noticed in the last few weeks was that while approaching someone on a walk, or engaging with them in a minor business transaction, that the thought that they are a Brother or a Sister has come into mind and has colored the transaction. As fleeting as it might be, just passing someone and making eye contact and saying “hello” with a quality that’s been very refreshing and validating for the whole idea that I am more connected to others than I give myself credit for. So it’s been a kind of interesting series of minor but noted exchanges or experiences.

I think I’ve only done just slightly better than I usually have. So I’m looking for an excuse as to why I haven’t done better. But I really don’t have one, so I think that’s about all I can say right now.

Two things:

To hesitate after the fact is an excellent practice as well. Just because you didn’t hesitate on the spot doesn’t mean that hesitation isn’t still valuable. What are you hesitating for? You’re hesitating to break the habit, or to interrupt your habitual thinking. Right? And after the fact when you say [snaps fingers], “Damn. I should have hesitated,” you still need to hesitate, because your mind is still running down this track where you are still involved in the frame of mind that wasn’t the best at the time of the incident. And so there’s still the need for the interruption of your habitual thinking.

Now the second thing is, what is the purpose of hesitating? It’s to interrupt your habitual thinking and to listen, to turn to the Holy Spirit to ask, “What do I need to know here? What’s the Truth here? What is the Truth that would constitute my reflecting Love in my environment and in light of the experience I just had in which I didn’t hesitate?” Remember, the reason for hesitating is to switch tracks.

There is a statement that’s very helpful: Love illumines, designates, and leads the way.

You hesitate to open up to the Holy Spirit or to the Father, to let yourself be infilled with Love, the Father’s Love; something which blesses you. This Love that is the Father’s Love illumines the way, designates the way, and leads the way. So you see, when you hesitate, the purpose is to shift the source of that which governs you. Is it going to be your habitual thinking, or is it going to be something outside of that that’s larger, whose motive is Love and not self-defense? It’s the point at which you stop acting like a puppet without strings, and you allow yourself to truly be a puppet so that the Father’s Love illumines for you the way, designates the way—says, “Walk this way,”—and leads the way. Love doesn’t say, “That’s the way to go,” and then steps out for a cup of coffee while you try to do your best. Love says, “Here is the way. Walk this way and follow me.” You see?

So it doesn’t matter whether you hesitate after the fact or not. At any point that you hesitate [in order] to switch tracks, to yield to guidance with the intent to be the Evidence of Love, any time you do that is the appropriate time.

Now, I’m going to pass the microphone again. This time if any of you have had the experience of hesitating, and experienced an influx of changed perspective in any way that was helpful at any time in the last couple of weeks, I would like you to share that. And if it didn’t happen, that’s fine, but I want to open up this avenue for discussion.

Well, it’s when I first … I have to pause here and wonder which one of the two would stand out in my mind the most. And yesterday I had a phone call from my sister-in-law who … it’s too bad that the topic that brings us in the historically in different arenas is on a spiritual model that she is a deep fundamentalist, and in the years past, has been very argumentative about anybody who hasn’t been saved. And that model, yesterday, did not come up in the conversation because I, in fact, did hesitate, but not initially.

Maybe five minutes into the conversation I did take a moment of pause and seek the real meaning of the phone call, and from that moment on, the phone call was entirely different. And the amount of love that she shared with me not only about her feelings toward me, but toward my wife, which is her sister, that was very reassuring. And the conversation itself all the way through until its termination was a very pleasant and delightful conversation to have with her. And I felt that I wasn’t taking charge of the conversation; it was already charged with Love. And it was a pleasure to have that happen and when it’s very similar to someone who mentioned earlier when they have paused with a relative of theirs. And to me that was a very significant change.

It isn’t easy to pause. I’ve, like the rest of you, hesitated to even answer at first, because I find myself pausing further in after I have gotten in, already stepped into the quagmire of the conversation, saying, “Gee, I should have paused,” and find out where this is supposed to go.

And thank you for sharing that’s really not a bad place to stop either. Take that second look and say, “Okay, I missed the pause, but I’m going to go back and pick it up,” and see what I need to know about this conversation, or whatever the transaction is.

Hesitation is not meant to be used as an avoidance, but as a vestibule in which you can shift the way you’re being involved with your Brother or Sister. And you remain involved.

Okay.

Thank you.

I’ll pass the microphone to the next person.

A good deal of my experience was realizing that I didn’t hesitate on the really big things, that I call big things, that felt big to me. And what I realized was why I don’t. What I was doing when I wasn’t hesitating, I was defending myself. I was very defensive and reaction. And I forgot that I don’t … there’s … I have nothing, there is nothing I need to defend. I forgot that part.

And later on I would look at it and think, “Oh, I wonder what would have happened if I had hesitated. I wonder what would have come to me to do.” Because all the things that I’m doing have made no difference whatsoever, and I keep doing the same thing over and over again. It’s not changing anything. And I really want to see what this would do for the situation, including myself.

And after the fact sometimes I could look back and look at it a little bit different and kind of have some insight into where the other person’s defenses were. And I have a little more compassion for the fact that they’re struggling also. It isn’t just me struggling. It’s they’re struggling, and they don’t realize why they’re struggling, or even that they’re struggling. So …

So hesitating after the fact still allows insight to occur and shifts of perception to occur that allow you to be with whoever it was in a different way and to consider them in a less judgmental way with more compassion. That very shift, even though no conversation has taken place between the two of you, has its effect, because there are no private thoughts. You see? What happens is that the messengers you send out after you have hesitated are different messengers sent out to gather and bring back to you a report that will confirm what they were sent out to find. So don’t ever think that if you haven’t responded appropriately on the spot that the opportunity to be appropriate has been lost.

Okay.

Thanks.

I can’t remember like a … or sight a particular incident, but there were several times over the last couple of weeks in conversation with Chris where just me hesitating and, you know, just kind of listening for what he might really be saying, or Who He Might Really Be, allowed me to feel a lot more like Love and Peace, and I think brought a lot more harmony to our home and our interactions with each other.

Exactly.

Yeah.

What comes to mind for me, I work with someone who gets very angry very easily. And I seem to do a lot of things that are irritating, and so for months I have been so on the defensive. And what’s come up in the last two weeks, and I don’t know if it’s because of my hesitating, but a friend helped me remember that working is not about earning money. God’s abundance is there for me. So my job should be to be there to extend, and that’s what I’ve been trying to hesitate and remember. That’s what I’m really there for. And so the defenses are coming down. I’ve actually had moments when I really love this person; just felt absolute love. And I still have a job and I’m amazed. I just … I’m amazed I still have a job.

Anyway it is really helping me not be so frightened. I haven’t gotten the extending part down very well, but you said that it might …

But you are extending a willingness.

Yeah.

You are extending something.

Okay.

A willingness not to be fearful, which is another way of saying a willingness not to be defended in the presence of this person who easily gets angry. So you’re extending defenselessness. You are extending Love. And you’re not holding her to a past interpretation of her and her behavior and her psychological patterns. You see?

Right.

You are extending something.

Thank you. And thank you for all your help.

You are welcome.

I guess it was the last time we … a Sunday that we were asking questions and you asked about if we had any questions relative to the material and I related that I was having a difficulty with someone who I contracted to do some technical work for me and that they … it was supposed to take about three months and it’s been going on a year. And what I did with that situation was I asked the Holy Spirit to help me get rid of the negative emotion around the whole situation and around, you know, relating directly to this individual. And I just kept asking for that.

And I don’t … I can’t even put my finger on when the shift took place, but the upsettedness about it just left me, so that it was like … the charge is gone. And if it takes another year, that’s okay. If, you know, if it doesn’t, that’s okay. So I became neutral about the situation. About two days later, the person calls me up and says, “I got it done and, you know, here it is.” And it was like the whole relationship was transformed. And there was no, you know, had been no interaction between us for weeks. And so, it was like, you know, all this like cause and effect; just cause and effect.

For me now it’s about negative … if I get a negative uncomfortable feeling about a situation, or a person, or whatever, that to me is the trigger that some transformation needs to take place in the way I need to see this thing. And so that’s what I ask the Holy Spirit, you know, help me to see things differently. And what I’m beginning to see …

Which is the way one hesitates.

Yes. Yes. But it’s the negative emotion that triggers it. And then where I’ve been kind of like let down by the situation, up until recently, was that it seems like there was no transformation happening. But I was persistent. I kept asking, and asking, and asking. And then this thing happened with this individual which was, you know, like a real eye opener. So I guess it’s starting to work, you know, even though there’s not …

You’re starting to employ it. It has always worked. [audience laughter]

Right. See that was the thing. It was like I was employing it, but I didn’t see any results. In other words, there was still a charge there. But now it seems, and I don’t know why, it’s like why, you know, is it that the constant persistence wears … begins to neutralize the resistance I have around the concept or feeling about it? You see what I mean?

Indeed.

In other words, my habit has been looking at it, saying, “Oh, this doesn’t work. This isn’t working for me. I must be doing this wrong.” Or, you know, I’m not understanding what Raj is saying, and that’s why it’s not working—never realizing that on some level there’s resistance to it, and that’s why it’s not working.

Plus the thought process, “I must not be understanding Raj,” or “I must be doing something wrong,” this is Michael authoritatively taking the reins and determining an explanation. There’s no hesitation there.

Ah.

You see? You can recognize there is something out of order, that there’s a call for correction, and instead of defining the nature of the call for correction better, you shut up and you say, “Father, Holy Spirit, what’s the Truth here?”

Right.

“What is the Truth that embodies my intent, my desire to see the Evidence of Love and to be the Evidence of Love?”

And being the Evidence of Love is allowing yourself to be the place where Love is embodied, not at your hand, but as a spontaneous result of being open enough that the Father’s Love and the Father’s Perspective can register with you as a shift of perception that constitutes an “Aha!” or even a series of “Aha’s” that simply spontaneously overflow into your perceptions of everything that’s around you, and specifically regarding whatever caused you to hesitate in the first place for clarity.

So here I, you know, I feel a judgment come on which gives me a bad feeling, and then I hesitated and asked for my perception to be changed, and then I would judge the process. And that was where I was trapping myself.

Yes.

I see. Thank you.

Well, during a recent trip to southern California, I drove on the trip 1400 miles down and it gave me plenty of time for my mind to work some scenarios on the forthcoming visit that I was looking forward to. But there was a degree of unease because I was working scenarios that were based upon memory or some idea of the future; what it would be like. I had the pleasant anticipation of visiting my son and his family, but my mind was working its own scenarios—what it might be like, what I can contribute, how it will be like.

And I was uneasy enough about that process to where I just got a little bit upset, and with that process, stepped back and, you know, prayed that I’d be able just to be present and let the chips fall. And the visit turned out to be not what I expected. There were longer periods of quiet. But enough good happened, enough experience in the present of being with those people that I felt, you know, glimmerings of the appropriateness of that kind of sense—that time was involved. Whenever I would go to the past, our history together, or some sort of ideas about the future—how it might be, how I might be as a granddad, or how they might be as grandkids—just be with them. It was really quite refreshing. And there were some really bright moments of Love. And it was very gratifying.

I’ve been in a situation where my life as it existed before doesn’t seem possible. And the future is so unclear that I’ve been forced to just get up and show up in a long-term care facility, which initially just seemed like an assault to my senses, and just be there. And I’ve been witness to just being led through the day each day and where there’s so much love and care and support. And it’s just something I’ve never experienced before. Surrendering to what’s possible in the moment, rather than grieving about what’s [???], or trying to plan or worry about the future.

In other words, you’re not using the present moment to secure a safe future. You’re not using the present moment to defend yourself against a negative future. Right?

Yes.

Yes. Yes. And you’re not trying to control the moment you’re in.

I don’t know how.

Exactly. And you’re finding a way to be this way gracefully, relatively speaking.

[small laugh] Right. By the Grace of God.

Exactly.

Okay.

Yes. You see, the reason for abandoning control, which is what hesitation is, is to allow yourself to have the Experience of Grace. Until you get off the pedestal, until you get off the speaker’s platform where you’re in charge, you can’t find out that God is already in charge, and that by Grace you are Loved and your needs are met. Not necessarily in the way you would plan them out, but in ways that you can’t take credit for. And therefore, the fact that care is occurring that you aren’t responsible for is a demonstrable … or it’s a demonstration that there is a God.

It’s very humiliating to let yourself into that place, but the humiliation of the ego uncovers the humility of you. And so it feels as though you have moved from being humiliated into an experience of humility. And humility is nourishing. Humility is fulfilling.

Because until you have a demonstration in your experience of the fact that there is really a God, it’s just theory. This is another reason for practicing hesitation, because it allows a shift of perception to occur, which isn’t just a shift of ideas, but it’s a shift of a way of being present. And part of the shift of the way of being present involves what you might call being more permeable—less defended, more can get in. And what gets in is the experience or demonstration that there really is a God, and it’s not up to you, and it never has been up to you.

It never has been up to you. And that is an incredible relief that no longer or it ceases to suggest humiliation. It uncovers an Experience of Wholeness that you can grasp is permanent, if you won’t try to take hold of the reins again.

Hesitation is for the purpose of letting a shift of perception occur. Which is what? A miracle.

Thank you for sharing.

Now, nobody has brought up the subject, but hesitating so that you might interrupt your habitual thought processes and your habitual perceptions, and so that you will be susceptible to the influx of revelation is not a means by which you gain control over your world. It isn’t a way by means of which you can make somebody be healed. And we need to be clear on this. Your doing it and your experiencing the influx of the Father’s Love that causes your perception of everything to change so that this experience overflows you and gets spontaneously extended, this does put you in a position of being an agent for change, a facilitator, you might say, of change, but it doesn’t put you in the position of being able to authorize the change to happen now or ten minutes from now.

You have to be willing to be the Presence of Love that doesn’t have an ace up its sleeve. It’s not a love that is extended if the one it’s extended to will do such-and-such. You see, when the Movement of Love infills you and overflows you, and thus gets extended, the furthest thing from your mind is control or manipulation. It’s like you hear something funny and you laugh, laughter escapes your lips and it reaches out and it touches everyone in the area, but the last thing you’re thinking about is, “What effect is my laughter going to have on everybody in the room?” You’re not saying, “Oh, my laughter is going to heal everyone. My laughter is going to change everyone.” No. You’re caught in the Movement of Joy.

Now, if someone in the room is down in the dumps and they’re not committed to their misery, they’re likely to be blessed by your laughter, and it might just break the spell and change their day for them, because they were so tickled at your unaffected, un-self-conscious outburst of joy.

There may be someone in the room who’s miserable and quite committed to their misery, and your joy released will not touch them. In fact, they may say, make some remark, you know, “Hey, cut the racket out back there! Gotta get my work done. Cut out the laughing.” You see? A response that matches in no way the feeling you’re having.

What do you do when you do hesitate and you do reach within to the Holy Spirit or the Father, and you wish to have the Truth revealed, to know what the Truth is, and it is revealed, and it does end up being spontaneously extended and it is met with absolute resistance? Perhaps even ugly resistance, unkind resistance. Well, if the Extension of Love that is extended out of Love or from Love to your Brother or your Sister is not met with receipt, and if the extension and receipt of it, we’ll say, is what means you get to keep it, what do you do with that? It would appear that someone’s commitment to their misery could keep you from being able to keep what you’ve given away. You understand what I mean?

And here’s where you have to be careful. Those who are committed to their misery are confused. But they’re not just confused; they’re confused and their confusion is set into place with a linchpin. In other words, it is strongly secure. What you have to be careful of, first of all, their commitment to it is an addiction to it, an addiction to their misery, and you have to be careful that you don’t become addicted to trying to overcome their addiction. This is very important. If they say “No,” it is not appropriate for you to persist in forcing, we’ll say, the wonderful Truth that you’re knowing about them upon them. But it’s very foolish for you to abandon the Truth that has been revealed to them to you about them.

Because your mind is going to be occupied by something from the Voice for Truth or the voice for fear, it’s going to be occupied or filled with something from one of the two teachers. It’s your Function, it’s the Divine Function of your Being to be glorifying God—meaning recognizing God because God has uncovered Himself to you. That’s your Function.

And so if you are met with firm resistance, you don’t stop knowing the Truth that’s been revealed to you, but you do not inflict it upon one who is absolutely, steadfastly refusing to let it in. You back off. You disengage from the one-on-one resistance, and you persist in remembering, staying in touch with the shift of perception that the Father provided you about them. It’s your job not to backslide and slip back into the historic definitions that you have had about that person.

Well, the ego would say, “Yeah.” And of course the ego always has things to say about your spiritual advancement or real progress. The ego says, “Yeah, they’re keeping you from waking up. Wow. They’re no friends of yours. You’re right. It’s not fair.” You see? And invites you to move back into judgment.

I’ve said before that those of you who are dreaming dreams are, for lack of better words, having a nap on a rolling hillside in the Kingdom of Heaven. Until you begin to stir, we do not disturb you. You want your dreams. But the moment the dreams begin to be uncomfortable and you begin to toss and turn and moan, and the indication is that you’re on the verge of becoming conscious, we are right there in support of your decision to move out of your misery.

Now this is very important. And I’ll tell you something. Those of you, and I’m not speaking of you specifically, but those of the Brotherhood who are still sound asleep and deeply committed to their dreams, are not keeping us from waking up, have not kept us from waking up. And so, you keep the Vision, you stay with the Vision that has been revealed to you that is the Truth about your Brother or your Sister, even though they are absolutely refusing to let it in. And you gently leave them and turn toward those who are beginning to stir. Is this clear?

You can, if you are not careful quote “because you really want to wake up” unquote become compulsively aggressive in terms of helping your Brother or Sister to wake up, especially if they are resisting it. Now you will have to listen to know whether to persist or not. But what I’m addressing is the tendency that is there for you to become one of the Christian soldiers marching on to war against that which is unreal. And that’s not Love and that’s not what it’s about.

Does anyone remember the distinction I shared with you between sin and sickness? Very simply, sickness is a misperception believed in that no one wants, that no one likes. Sin is a misperception believed in that, for one reason or another, one has made commitment to.

They make commitment to it because they see it to be to their benefit. “Poor me. Woe is me.” They’ve learned that if they believe that and they profess it, it will attract helpers who will say, “Oh, yes. Woe is you. What can I do to help you?” And so this person has a misperception of themselves, which is to their detriment because it keeps their Birthright of Wholeness out of sight for them. They make commitment to it because they see a benefit in it. And they end up using others. And it becomes a lifestyle that they hold on to, because they don’t have to become self-responsible, and a number of other reasons.

So, sin is, you might say, the taking pleasure in ignorance because there is a benefit to it. And the frame of mind is used to take advantage of others, which is to the detriment of others. The correction of sin is different from the correction of sickness. Because in order for sin to be corrected, there is a process of education that must occur. The individual practicing it, has to somehow be educated out of their misperception and their attraction to their misperception.

So I bring this up because if you are dealing with someone committed to their misperception that puts them to a disadvantage and everyone around them to a disadvantage, it is going to take quote “more time and more persistence.” And because their practice of sin has become an ethic in their life, a strong-willed way of behaving in life because the payoff to them is great, you, if you’re going to present any different perspective to them, are going to be seen as an intruder; someone who wishes to violate a very definite preset configuration that they’re holding on to that keeps their lives together. And so you are not going to be met with open arms. And you are going to be met with great resistance, and most likely unkind resistance, because their ego wants to get rid of the threat to its imagined stability.

This is one of the situations in which, in most cases, it is necessary to step back, and, you might say, love them from a distance. You must step back to the place where the True Perception of them that the Father has provided you that has uplifted you and overflowed you. It is important for you to step back to the place where that does not get covered up or distorted by their obtuse responses. And you continue to hold them in that perspective because it’s the Truth. And you are not about to abandon the Experience of Truth that you’ve had, just because they are being unreasonable, obnoxious, and unkind to you.

Now, I know everyone loves to have a pat answer that works in all situations. You’ve got to hesitate every moment, and listen every moment. Because there will be times when if you’re dealing with someone addicted to their misperceptions, there will be times to speak up and to share what they normally would object to strenuously, and there are other times not to. There are times when you can fulfill your purpose of extending Love when the point will hit home, and there are times when it won’t.

And if you don’t listen for the difference, you will end up becoming compulsive in your attempt to help this “woe is me” individual. And you end up becoming their servant. It might not be that you end up jumping when they say jump, but you end up being constantly miserable because you can’t make any headway. And so now your life has become debilitated because you’ve lost the Father’s Perspective. You have forgotten that what you’re here for is to see the Evidence of Love, and you’re here to be the Evidence of Love, to be the Presence of Love. You see?

So what you do is, you listen carefully and you speak or you don’t speak, you speak firmly or you speak very gently, depending upon what the leading is when you’ve hesitated and listened. And you don’t lose your clarity, and you don’t become distracted from staying with it, where there is no reaction going on. The moment you begin to feel reactive to someone who is standing in absolute defiance of any love that you would extend to them, you’ve lost your Peace. You’ve taken a hold of the other end of the rope for the tug-of-war and you’re engaged, but not engaged in your Function.

Now, those who are holding on to their limitations, those who say, “I can’t take time to hesitate because the circumstances in my life are so threatening that if I don’t take care of them, ultimately I will die,” is something that you can become subject to. Not because they’re saying it to you, but because you in watching them are saying to yourself, “I need to hesitate to get the right perspective so that I can be the Presence of Love extending Love, because their situation is dire and they may indeed die, and therefore I can’t say ‘No’ and back off.” You see what I’m saying? You can become caught in not releasing them from your focused attention, if I may put it this way, your focused attempt to give, because indeed you see that their behavior could result in their death, and their behavior is becoming so much more erratic that dire circumstances are more likely, and therefore you cannot afford … you cannot afford to get back into your Peace and relax. You must continue to persist in giving the gift. And you are now compulsively attempting to be in control … and [are] absolutely out of control. You have abandoned your capacity to be an agent for change. Is that clear? Does that make sense? And this is not what you’re here for. And this is not what hesitation is about.

Hesitation is not a means of control. Hesitation, listening, experiencing the infilling that you can’t contain within yourself, is something you do because it’s your Function. It is your Function to be able to recognize God in each and every thing. And so you do it just because, whether the things you are seeing are recognizing it about themselves or not. And you persist in doing it because it’s your Function, not because it will help them. You do it, because doing it, is you being in your right Mind.

And the fact is that you’re doing it because it means you’re in your right Mind, will have the effect of undermining your Brother’s or Sister’s fear that causes them to be committed to that which is detrimental to them. That undermining is inevitable. And so you continue to make the gift because it has its effect, but not in your time frame, and not because you have some kind of control. It undermines because there is no way for them to remain as strong in their determination to be ignorant when you or anyone else is being the Presence or Evidence of Love. And so, in making the gift because you choose not to use your mind in any other way, does ultimately end up allowing you to keep what you are giving.

You know what? If you were on a community development, a redevelopment committee, or if you wanted to be involved in rehabilitating your community, you could go out and find the ugliest place in the worst condition in town and tackle that to restore it. But you could also go out and get one, find one, that is less in need of restoration, that’s easier for you to do, that you might be more capable of coping with at the moment.

So what am I trying to say? I’m trying to say that when we’re talking about hesitation, we’re not talking about your going out and finding the most difficult thing there is to hesitate about, and then trying to meet that challenge, when you already have enough trouble hesitating to find out what the Truth About You is. Do you see what I’m saying? And so don’t … don’t foil yourself by saying, “Okay, I’m going to test out this hesitation bit on the most impossible situation I can find, to find out whether it’s True, whether it’s valuable.”

As I said, when my Brothers and Sisters, dreaming on the grassy knolls in the Kingdom of Heaven, are sound asleep, I do not give my attention there. But the ones who are rousing, [snaps fingers] I’m right there. Because everyone is going to wake up for their reason, because they want to, because they have arrived at some point where they seriously want something different from what they’ve been dreaming, and that’s where you respond.

And you don’t feel guilty about not being able to do anything for the ones who are snoring loudly, deep in their dreams. But you’re always paying attention for the first moment anyone [snap of fingers] has an interruption in their snoring and begins to twitch, or turn, or show signs of returning consciousness, or the potential for it.

It’s not really called “conservation of energy.” It’s a matter of understanding How It Works. You can’t override free will.

Free will is Divine Will used inappropriately, because those using it are experiencing everything through a distorted perception. It’s Divine Will and it cannot be overridden. So, you have to wait until there is a decision, a real opportunity for communication between What They Divinely Are and What You Divinely Are to occur. And the moment the circumstance is there, [snaps fingers] you take hold of it. But you don’t spin your wheels trying to overcome the will of a Son of God who is absolutely determined to be in a state of denial of What He Is. But all the while that you’re not forcefully trying to overturn that Son of God’s will, you don’t abandon the clarity about them that the Father’s Love has revealed to you.

The more who awake constitute, or the increasing numbers of those who are waking up constitutes a decrease of numbers of those who are in mutual agreement to see everything as it’s not. And that means that the misperception of the Kingdom of Heaven loses strength causing those who are dreaming to have more fitful dreams, because they can’t hold it together as well.

Much to let register and sink in, but it will simplify things for you.

And one last word, remember that when you are hesitating and reaching within to the Holy Spirit, or your Guide, or the Father, it is to have your Function as the Presence of Love be revealed to you so that you become the Evidence of Love in the world whether it’s recognized or not. And then you are ever so grateful when it is.

Okay.

I love you all. That was a “meat and potatoes” evening. And I look forward to being with you next week.

Thank you.

You are welcome.

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